Life’s heading – somewhere? #174

After writing this post I feel like it’s a reason. Life has always been about holding on. I’m grateful. That it begins to feel different. It begins to feel as though maybe there’s something more to life and this world. Maybe life can be, will be, about where life is heading. It’s heading – somewhere. I’ve no clue where that somewhere is. But it feels like it’s heading somewhere. Like it can head somewhere.

The past couple of weeks is the first time in my life that I’m beginning to see that there could be a life. It was/has always been about the opposite. First it was suicidality with no awareness of it. Before that, I never really lived in the world. I used to wonder if I was living in a dream and would one day wake up. I used to wonder if I was really real or a figment of my imagination – I know, where’s ‘my’ imagination coming from, or someone’s imagination. After I chose to give life a go 2.5 years ago, it’s always been, just hang on, coz’ it’s worth it, for there has to be something more. What’s the something? Who knows. Just believe. Believe in those who have done it before. Believe in the impossibility. Life’s been all about hanging on.

via Life’s heading – somewhere? — Journey to life

 

You’re worth it — Journey to life #173

You are worth it. Always and forever.

I hope this link will work. This seriously brought me to tears. It’s so hard to believe. To look past all that the world portray. The media. People. My own words enemy is myself. You are worth it. Nothing can ever change that. Nothing anyone says. Nothing anyone does. You are worth it just coz […]

via You’re worth it — Journey to life

Edit, I hear the above URL doesn’t work for everyone (I wonder why that is, the above definitely worked for some people) so including this one from Didi – thank you Didi!

Letter to myself 25th March ’19

I don’t know if I’m really going to try and write to myself or not. I guess it doesn’t harm to and I can always just discard the post if I can’t. Now that I actually wrote it I’m not sure what I think. I don’t really know what I wrote or if I want to know. I’m tired and have no way of going to sleep for it seems like it’s going to spiral the moment I let it, so I guess we’ll find out what will be.

Hi E

I don’t really know what to say to you. I don’t know how to reach you. I don’t know what to do to make it okay. Continue reading “Letter to myself 25th March ’19”

Reblog – letter to someone suicidal from a therapist #168

My friend sent me this letter that Stacey wrote. It really touched me.

It reminded me of the letter I wished I could have given to the girl, before she killed herself. I wish I could have told you this before you killed yourself What I wish I could tell anyone before they take the final act. Final because there is no other choice or option. Continue reading “Reblog – letter to someone suicidal from a therapist #168”

Random words

Constriction

Desperation

I just want to

Breathe

I just want to

Be

Suffocation

Desolation

I just want to

Give up

I just want to

Stop

Abruption

Damnation

I just want to

Refuse

I just want to

Use

Accustomisation

Actualisation

I wonder what’ll happen

If I just continue

I wonder what’ll happen

If I live

Letter to myself: 22nd February 2019

I haven’t actually written to myself in quite a while. I’ve been wanting to all week so I guess I’m going to try.

Eliza,

Hi E

I don’t really know what to say to you. I don’t know how to tune into your world and really reach you. And that makes me sad. For me. For you. For both of us. All the same. That the distance is so necessary coz’ otherwise it just hurts so much. Continue reading “Letter to myself: 22nd February 2019”

One Hundred and Fifty Eight: Broken phones

Broken phones. One Hundred and Fifty Eight. I broke my phone the other day. I know, it seems like a strange enough reason – breaking a phone. But yet there it is. Or here it is. Whichever you may. I dropped my phone on the road and I’m pretty certain it was driven over by cars. A really nice guy on a bike rang my phone for me and delayed himself by a few minutes whilst waiting for me to find my phone. Continue reading “One Hundred and Fifty Eight: Broken phones”

Therapy – looking back or going forward – what do you think?

I met this therapist on Tuesday. It was ____ too many words to actually be able to choose just one.

She said that in therapy you have to look back at all that happened to you and revisit it all.

I completely disagree. I think that there are so many people who think that in order to go forwards you have to go back. That you have to revisit everything that happened. And I think they’re wrong.

If you ask me, life is about moving forwards. Not back. Living with the reality. Living in the present. Continue reading “Therapy – looking back or going forward – what do you think?”

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