There’s always another choice #176

Life is about choices.

Sometimes it feels like the only option is suicide. Yet, that’s one choice. I was reading the letter I wrote – I wish I could have told you this before you killed yourself – and stopped to write this.

One of the main reasons I held on was because I knew that I didn’t know what could be. Because if I’d end it, that’s the only option – ending it. Whereas if I’d hold onto life, I would always still have the option of ending it. By continuing to live, I can still always choose to die. Whereas once I’ve ended it, I’ve taken all choice away.

Continue reading “There’s always another choice #176”

Remembering those…

I wanted to share this.

It’s about sharing the memories of those who died through suicide.

The good people. The great people. The awesome people. Who fought in a war, won loads of battles, and ultimately lost the war. Remembering them for who they were, not for what they did.

Life’s heading – somewhere? #174

After writing this post I feel like it’s a reason. Life has always been about holding on. I’m grateful. That it begins to feel different. It begins to feel as though maybe there’s something more to life and this world. Maybe life can be, will be, about where life is heading. It’s heading – somewhere. I’ve no clue where that somewhere is. But it feels like it’s heading somewhere. Like it can head somewhere.

The past couple of weeks is the first time in my life that I’m beginning to see that there could be a life. It was/has always been about the opposite. First it was suicidality with no awareness of it. Before that, I never really lived in the world. I used to wonder if I was living in a dream and would one day wake up. I used to wonder if I was really real or a figment of my imagination – I know, where’s ‘my’ imagination coming from, or someone’s imagination. After I chose to give life a go 2.5 years ago, it’s always been, just hang on, coz’ it’s worth it, for there has to be something more. What’s the something? Who knows. Just believe. Believe in those who have done it before. Believe in the impossibility. Life’s been all about hanging on.

via Life’s heading – somewhere? — Journey to life

 

You’re worth it — Journey to life #173

You are worth it. Always and forever.

I hope this link will work. This seriously brought me to tears. It’s so hard to believe. To look past all that the world portray. The media. People. My own words enemy is myself. You are worth it. Nothing can ever change that. Nothing anyone says. Nothing anyone does. You are worth it just coz […]

via You’re worth it — Journey to life

Edit, I hear the above URL doesn’t work for everyone (I wonder why that is, the above definitely worked for some people) so including this one from Didi – thank you Didi!

Finally Finding Ourselves, A Meaning To Life by Mark #171

This post was written and contributed by Mark. Thank you Mark for sharing your reason


My reason to live was in understanding the journey we all make to find ourselves. Seeing that it wasn’t in fact ‘all pointless’ because I couldn’t find an end to the misery. It was when I understood, after going through a part of my life that I describe as ‘the dark night of the soul’, and on coming out the other side realising that it all does have purpose. None of us can ‘see’ the end product or it would lose its purpose because we would realise we’ll be fine and ‘let go’ of our journey. Our journey, as rough as it is, requires that heartache and pain so that we can realise that we are very loveable by breaking through that fear and negativity that have been ingrained from childhood, finding a self worth for ourselves and finally seeing ourselves in truth and not buried behind those walls we build to protect us from that pain. Hard yes, but a very achievable and beautiful place once found and understood. Continue reading “Finally Finding Ourselves, A Meaning To Life by Mark #171”

Letter to myself 25th March ’19

I don’t know if I’m really going to try and write to myself or not. I guess it doesn’t harm to and I can always just discard the post if I can’t. Now that I actually wrote it I’m not sure what I think. I don’t really know what I wrote or if I want to know. I’m tired and have no way of going to sleep for it seems like it’s going to spiral the moment I let it, so I guess we’ll find out what will be.

Hi E

I don’t really know what to say to you. I don’t know how to reach you. I don’t know what to do to make it okay. Continue reading “Letter to myself 25th March ’19”

Reblog – letter to someone suicidal from a therapist #168

My friend sent me this letter that Stacey wrote. It really touched me.

It reminded me of the letter I wished I could have given to the girl, before she killed herself. I wish I could have told you this before you killed yourself What I wish I could tell anyone before they take the final act. Final because there is no other choice or option. Continue reading “Reblog – letter to someone suicidal from a therapist #168”

Random words

Constriction

Desperation

I just want to

Breathe

I just want to

Be

Suffocation

Desolation

I just want to

Give up

I just want to

Stop

Abruption

Damnation

I just want to

Refuse

I just want to

Use

Accustomisation

Actualisation

I wonder what’ll happen

If I just continue

I wonder what’ll happen

If I live

Letter to myself: 22nd February 2019

I haven’t actually written to myself in quite a while. I’ve been wanting to all week so I guess I’m going to try.

Eliza,

Hi E

I don’t really know what to say to you. I don’t know how to tune into your world and really reach you. And that makes me sad. For me. For you. For both of us. All the same. That the distance is so necessary coz’ otherwise it just hurts so much. Continue reading “Letter to myself: 22nd February 2019”

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