#195 Is it worthwhile to give? by Cerrato Mom

Is it better to give or to receive was the blog title. I loved her post. What’s better? To give or to get? When I’m stuck in my head, one the things that really helps me get out of it is giving. It helps me to get out of my own head, and see the world around me. The people around me. The colour around me. Giving is definitely one of my reasons to live.

Last week I found myself in a bit of a rut. I was feeling sorry for myself for silly reasons. So what did I do? I decided to do something nice for somebody else…and guess what? I instantly felt better. It’s amazing how our mind set can change when we take the focus off of […]

via Is It Better To Give Than Receive? — Cerrato Mom

Giving is what gives meaning, and purpose, and makes it worthwhile. For life, on its’ own, never seems worthwhile to me. But to give? To be? That definitely gives it some meaning, purpose, and reason.

So long as there’s life, there’s hope. Let’s make the world a better place!

Love, light and glitter

Letter to myself: 15th November ’19

Dear Eliza

You don’t want to say hello to me. You don’t want to see what is for you’re scared. Although, what is (going on), is so good. There’s nothing to be afraid of. Even if it weren’t good, you’re strong enough to handle it. Plus you’ve got me with you always. You never have to be afraid. You’ll never have to face this world alone. You’ll always have me.

I love you Eliza. And I’m with you always.

I do wonder what is going on in your world. I feel locked out, although I know you’re locking yourself out too. For hiding behind a blanket means there is nothing beyond the blanket, right? I don’t think there are any monsters under the bed, but you’re scared anyways. You’re scared because you don’t know for certain that their aren’t. And, if you look under the bed, you may find a ball of fluff, and some dust, which is really easy to clean up. You may also find a monster. A monster which will grab hold of you and pull you under the be with it as soon as it glimpses you.

Eliza, if that happens, if the monster under the bed takes you, I’ll take you back. I’ll help you to fight the monster and destroy it. Or, as they said in krav maga, to defend yourself and run away. Don’t engage when you don’t need to.

You can’t hide under the covers for eternity. It would be cool if you could but that’s not even what you want. You don’t know what is under the bed. You’re scared of seeing. I promise you it isn’t as big or scary as you think it is. Even if it is, we’ll handle it. We can’t face it or deal with it if we don’t know what is there. When you’re ready.

When you’re ready Eliza. We will wait. I will wait for you, and I’ll stay with you. We’ll look under the bed together. And we’ll probably see that there was nothing there.

You’re scared of seeing what is. You’re on edge and some of the things you’re doing – like eating too much junk, throwing up when you do, reading xxx, aren’t positive and you think that’s a bad sign. You don’t want to know what is going on in your world.

At the same time Eliza, at the same time you’re trying out things. You’re taking care of yourself. You’re spending time with friends and being honest. You’re looking at volunteering, exercise and new opportunities.

The world is a mixture. All that you are doing shows me that you’re okay and that you can face why you’re not being perfect with food. Coz you’re normal and not perfect?

When you’re ready.

I love you Eliza. I love you as you’re present. I love you when you aren’t, too. I love you as you eat good/healthy things. I love you as you try not to purge, or you do. I love you when you’re calm. I love you when you’re freaking out. I love you Eliza. I love you always. I will love you always. Just as I’ll be with you always. You’re worth it. You’re special and awesome. You’re deserving.

Always and forever,

Shabbat shalom Eliza,

Eliza

LTM: 18th July ’19

Dear Eliza

You are stronger than you could ever imagine. You are here. You could so easily have killed yourself. Yet you chose to give life a go. You chose life. Not death. You chose life for all the reasons you write. Primarily because death is final, life still gives you another option. And the belief. The belief in a little flicker of a light that was shadowed against the wall. You couldn’t see any light. You saw a reflection of a pinprick. You chose to believe in the light. Continue reading “LTM: 18th July ’19”

Not Alone, Reason 183

Not Alone, Reason 183

Hi, this is Tamara, and when I feel despair in life, it gives me hope in knowing that I do not go at it alone; in fact, I am never alone! This is reason to fight onward with my fellow brothers and sisters!

Not Alone

No exceptions are given to anyone from the terrible suffering in which we all experience in our fallen world. However, there is comfort in knowing that we are never alone in whatever pains befall us.

Illusions of isolation and aloneness during our misery tend to heighten our despair, and thicken the dreadful sludge of gloom in which we must drag ourselves during these bleak times.

Continue reading “Not Alone, Reason 183”

Child’s Eyes, Reason 182

Child’s Eyes,

Reason 182

~

This is Tamara!

Doses of shimmering colors and soft, pastel shades can be seen in greater richness and vibrancy when viewed through the healing touch of a child’s eyes. This is reason  to find great joy and wonder in life!

Looking Through A Child’s Eyes, Poetry

If I could glimpse through a child’s eyes

at all the wondrous beauty that they see,

My eyes would drink in so much joy,

and these captivating feasts

would satisfy me!

.

I would see the sun glossing a sugar-pink rose,

and a turquoise river flowing wild and free;

There would be rainbows on every corner,
Continue reading “Child’s Eyes, Reason 182”

Reflection, Reason 181

Reflection

Hey, there! It’s Tamara, again, and I’m on a roll!

As far as Reason #181, I love the Lord’s warm, loving reflection upon my heart, as a major reason to find joy in being alive!

In this poem, I am feeling rather blue from the bitter cold, but the Lord comes through (which is really no surprise as long as we trust him).

Reflection

Winter had come quite early for her,

though in reality, it was still early autumn;

she wore a coat, hat, and gloves, Continue reading “Reflection, Reason 181”

Big Dogs, Reason 179

Big Dogs

Hello, this is Tamara 

Big Dogs are cool, and fun! Having fun is a good enough reason, in my book, to live!

My dad’s 100-plus pound dog, a silky Black Labrador (with a coat so glossy, that it shines even when there is no light present), follows me around everywhere.

So, this means that when I sit down, he plops on the floor, right below me.

Thus, as it so happens, I arose from the chair to do some errands, and as I took one gigantic step over him (so as not to actually step right on top of him), he also rose up (there is humor in this), and so, all at once, I found myself riding on the back of this big, black horse!

Continue reading “Big Dogs, Reason 179”

Life’s heading – somewhere? #174

After writing this post I feel like it’s a reason. Life has always been about holding on. I’m grateful. That it begins to feel different. It begins to feel as though maybe there’s something more to life and this world. Maybe life can be, will be, about where life is heading. It’s heading – somewhere. I’ve no clue where that somewhere is. But it feels like it’s heading somewhere. Like it can head somewhere.

The past couple of weeks is the first time in my life that I’m beginning to see that there could be a life. It was/has always been about the opposite. First it was suicidality with no awareness of it. Before that, I never really lived in the world. I used to wonder if I was living in a dream and would one day wake up. I used to wonder if I was really real or a figment of my imagination – I know, where’s ‘my’ imagination coming from, or someone’s imagination. After I chose to give life a go 2.5 years ago, it’s always been, just hang on, coz’ it’s worth it, for there has to be something more. What’s the something? Who knows. Just believe. Believe in those who have done it before. Believe in the impossibility. Life’s been all about hanging on.

via Life’s heading – somewhere? — Journey to life

 

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