I was reading this post: https://boundlessblessingsblog.wordpress.com/2016/11/14/be-that-one-today/
It made me think.
One smile. One word. One deed. Can change someone’s life. One choice. One action. Can change a life. Yours. Mine. Someone else’s.
There’s been that ‘one’ for me. Probably many times. One action or one choice can change your life. It was 1.75 years ago. I was speaking to R who entered and exited my life. She hurt me a lot with that, but she was the cause of my one choice. She asked me to give life a go. I told her I couldn’t. She asked me to promise to try just for 6 weeks. After an hour I said I would. I would try. Not to mess up for just 6 weeks. At the end of the 6 weeks I made another choice. To give life a go. If I hadn’t made those choices I wouldn’t be here today.
I started this blog when I was again thinking of suicide. I’d been thinking of it as it was nearing the end of a year since I’d promised to try. I made a new choice (because of someone else’s words). To take away the deadlines there were in my head. The lines demarcating how long I’d try for. I know that had I not taken away the deadlines I would have given up. I wouldn’t have been able to cross over the deadline in my mind without messing up. Giving myself the option of choice every moment, it’s a little complicated to explain, but I gave myself the choice to choose whether to live every moment, rather than hanging on until a deadline. The choice is what kept me here…..
The day I stopped using painkillers. I made a choice. To try to live my life. Painkillers was just another thing in the list of things I’ve used to escape. The day I stopped I gave myself the option of living life. The option of living….. The option of living a life I want to live.
Choices. There have been many times I’ve had to choose. Every moment is a new choice. A choice to live in the real world, a choice to escape, a choice to be honest, a choice to help someone, a choice to hurt another, a choice to tune in to myself, a choice to cut off. Not always am I aware of the choices. Sometimes they’re really clouded over…… I face choices constantly. Every decision can be a turning or deciding factor in my life. In your life. Choices. Just one choice. For each one is significant.
What was that one choice for you?