Today’s been tough. Lots of thoughts swirling around. Sadness for this girl who never knows what life for bring. I wrote her a letter earlier I wish I could have told you this before you killed yourself. Jealousy that she isn’t here anymore. Guilt for feeling that way. Grateful that I’m here. Broken phones. Glad I can’t reach out to anyone for I know they wouldn’t be here anyways. Wasted money. Tickets I booked incorrectly. I came across this site a long while ago. It’s a site I would add to the letter I wrote. A reason.
The site is copyright, so I’m including the first page but that’s it.
A reason… to live or to die.
In the time it takes you to read this, a few others in the world have already taken their lives. You’re still alive, so you still have time to choose differently. Because suicide is very much a choice you have to make. It is not a choice that can be made for you. I am not here to talk you out of it. I am here to help you make a decision that you can live or die with in peace. It’s going to take about 5 minutes of your life, a life that you can’t see much point in continuing. But since you found your way here, another 5 minutes probably isn’t going to hurt anything.
In my many years online, I have met dozens if not hundreds of people who find themselves thinking the exact same thoughts you’re thinking — I can’t go on any longer. I just feel too overwhelmed by it all. Nobody loves me, and those who do are just saying it; they’re probably lying. I’ve gone on feeling so bad for so long, I just don’t feel like I can take it any more. I give up.
If you recognize yourself in some of those words, that’s good. That means that despite all of the bad feelings you’re feeling, you can identify some of those feelings that have been felt by others. Trust me, that won’t make anything I have to say easier. But it does give us a small reason to hope.
You are still alive. You are still reading. You are still you. One more light in a world of darkness. There is hope. So please keep reading…
I really appreciated her site the first time I came across it, and it was good to read it again, even if and though right now I don’t actually plan on ending my life (if anything I just want to use painkillers).
So long as there’s life, there’s hope.