Questions for therapist I met

I have some questions for this therapist I met last week (and 2 weeks ago). Someone actually linked in a random post on SF a video on youtube and I’ve liked some of the videos on the channel. You can check it out here. Thinking of it coz’ I’ve questions for this therapist and people have questions for a therapist lots of which may be answered there. I can’t think of anything other than this. If you think I’ve missed anything out than I can always edit this post!

Questions I have for this therapist

  • How does she see therapy sessions mapping out? Both in general and how she thinks it’d work with me.
  • I’m asking the above because she said she works primarily with TA (transactional analysis), the first I’d heard of it was listening to videos with my mum for her counselling course. The second when she said she’s a TA therapist. I personally never thought it makes much difference what modality a therapist is trained in so long as you can work well with them. But, and it’s a big but, one of the main things I want from therapy is practical skills and tools. I never got that with AH (ex therapist). But where I was when I started with AH is very different to now. Am I going to get what I want?
  • Similar to the above, she mentioned about looking back at everything that happened. I want to know what she meant by that. What I understood from her is that therapy is about looking and going through every negative experience that happened. Which I know some people think and it isn’t a view I hold of. At all. I don’t know if that’s her view or not. I want to know what her view is. My view is that therapy is about moving forwards. There are often things that have happened that are going to block you from moving forwards. So therapy is about looking where you want to go, working through a, what tools you need to get there and b, working through anything that is stopping you from getting there (be it beliefs, thoughts, or not having processed anything that has ever happened to you). I want to know what her view is. And yeah, I know that all these points are kinda all one and the same it’s just easier to put it down like this.
  • And, what is her supervision like. How did she choose her supervisor (just curiosity that point).
  • And edit – this is really an addition to the previous point. I think working through the past is a part of what would come up in therapy, but not in and of itself what therapy is about. I think I wrote that already and lost the words I had floating about when I wasn’t online.

Onto what else I want to know

  • What does putting her hand over her heart give to her?

The rest of the questions I have for her are on what she’s said to me. I had a long list and can’t remember most of them now!

  • What does a room say about a person?
  • What does my room say to her about me?
  • Why was she surprised that I have pictures of my room on my phone?
  • What did she mean when she said she saw something fragile? As is what did she see that made her think that and use that word.
  • Why did she ask me the first time we met if I ever disassociate? I’m assuming it’s not something she asks every person she meets.
  • Why does she think working with me would be a challenge?
  • What other blog posts did she read? Does she know what my blog is really about?

Something she said I want her to elaborate on (I couldn’t find anything even though I had Sir Google’s faithful – or in this case not so – help). That people who purge often feel constriction.

I’m sure I’ll think of a lot else to add before Tuesday.

Oh yeah, I want to know if she’s ever read the book The Journey. And what her views are on the world – how she thinks the world came to be, whether she believes in a higher power and why (no difference what she believes so long as there’s a valid why. I do. Because the world is proven to be finite by the fact it’s expanding outwards constantly lesser – so isn’t going to cave in on itself – and the big bang creating time and space which means there has to be an inifinty. Not that I understand what I’m saying!).

Happy weekend!

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35 thoughts on “Questions for therapist I met

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  1. I tried responding to a comment and I kept getting the equivalent of a failed mail, so you’ll either get three or four copies of these message which began with the vocabulary words, or just this message which I cut-and-pasted here. I don’t know what is happening to cause this:

    Hope the weekend will get you back to feeling 100% Eliza. I am really tired from staying up later than normal to keep washing little loads of laundry to keep the pipes warm – no need to do that tonight. I am still behind in sleep as well as Reader thanks to the plumbing drama last Saturday night … I was doing the invoices today and fell asleep working on them … all those numbers and an extremely tiny font in our accounting program and my eyes were running together. I just shut off the tap but it makes this drip, drip, drip no matter how I position the tap to keep the pipes warm and it would just zone me out. Not sure if a walk is in the cards – so slippery out still. But rain tomorrow afternoon will take some of the snow away, BUT, the ground is very cold, so it will be black or glare ice. I won’t risk driving or walking on that. I like your words … I am going to save these and send them to my boss. He likes to collect words and when he sees unusual words he makes flashcards of the word, pronunciation and meaning and then tries to use them … he is really hung up on “kerfuffle” and I see it in his outgoing e-mails and at least once a week in letters/memos … let’s get him onto a new word with yours. :) Enjoy the weekend.

    1. it made me laugh about your boss…. (((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((hugs))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))

      1. I am hopelessly late tonight and apologize for the late reply – I had to work today and then my boss called on the way home. He is really funny and quirky at the same time … the quirky part matches me as I am quirky as well. I gave him a few new words – told him the weather confuzzled me. :)
        (((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((hugs back to you too Eliza))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))

          1. I’ll suggest he use them interchangeably … to me “kerfuffle” doesn’t sound like a real word either, but it is. I gave him this list a few weeks ago Eliza – we both went to school at Wayne State University. Once a month they dredge up a word that no one uses anymore and post it, and every January, they release a list of oddball words. These are pretty funny. Here is the link and if you can’t access the link, let me know and I’ll cut-and-paste it here for you, okay?

              1. That’s what Robb (my boss) said … I’d use “your words” but I don’t know how to pronounce them. So I sent him and said you can listen to the pronunciations. However, I just went there for Anekdok … it wasn’t there … so much for trying to improve your vocabulary. :)

  2. I hope this doesn’t offend you, but when I first saw the title of this post, I honestly thought “therapist” was a typo in which you forgot to leave a space between the “e” and the “r” (“Questions for the rapist I met”). Happily, this turned out not to be the case (interesting though such a post might have been).

    So maybe I should see a therapist to learn what my misreading of your title means. Hopefully, it doesn’t mean I have a degenerate mind, which would be an awful thing to find out about myself in my old age. :(

  3. Linda has given you very wise advice and I don’t really see the relevance of her world view.

    Asking a client if they disassociate is standard practice and gives us an insight into the level of turmoil within. Working with anyone is a real challenge, so if she says no she is lying :)

    I used to think you need to work through most things from the past that might be blocking you but as you say moving forward might be healthier for you … something you do need to discuss in detail and then decide if she is the one for you!

    1. I think it’s both.
      I think I also thought she meant that’s the only thing – work through the past, but now that I’m thinking about it again she probably didn’t mean that, that’s probably just how I took it. So yeah I need to clarify it but I’m pretty certain I just took it to the extreme (that’s me). Really a person does need to work through the past, but – in as much as it’s blocking them today. And although some of it will need to be processed with a therapist, not all will. And that’s definitely not all that therapy is about.
      Although, a lot in my opinion is about awareness. I’ve seen in my life, that when I’m aware of something I can do something about it. For example boundaries, I’ve a sister who always crosses boundaries (manipulative etc). A friend once pointed out to me that something she’d done was such. Once I knew it, I’ve been able to keep them – not always, but at times. Because once there’s awareness it can change. And that’s kinda also something that can be both within and without of therapy. Oh, I don’t know!!!

      1. you’re a smart cookie, manipulators need strong boundaries, I have two in my family so it’s often easier just to keep a geographical distance and only engage when absolutely necessary …
        clarify with your therapist, did you feel a heart connection? a good rapport?

        1. yeah, my sister thankfully isn’t living at home, another sister her manipulation is a different kind entirely and with my mum I mostly just see it as her issue (my sister’s the one who’d make me feel guilty even when I knew I was right. Funnily enough I don’t think her manipulation plays out with the world. It doesn’t with the rest of my family, just me. And I don’t feel bad that I’m not in touch with her much. Spend time with her when she’s home, and being that it’s limited, it’s okay).

          What’s a ‘heart connection’?? lol. Yeah, will do. Will see what happens. What I did notice was that she was ready to meet me where I was at.

    2. And yeah, her worldview isn’t relevant. I’m just curious. Same way as I’d love to know what you believe. And why. Actually the why is way more important to me than the what. I couldn’t care what another person believes, I’m way more interested in why they believe what they do.

          1. and it also frees me to accept others beliefs or ideals … because we are all so different we connect with different beliefs so that’s ok, so long as it works for them :)

    3. What do you mean by this ‘Asking …. if they disassociate …. gives us an insight into the level of turmoil within. ‘
      How does it do that?

      1. if you do disassociate that is a whole other level of therapy because we don’t know when you are doing that while you’re in therapy. It complicates the heck out of everything and indicates that your damage is very deep seated.

            1. Not majorly – not in a real way – but yeah. It was interesting because I realised it because of the next times I met her. Also interesting.

              I should really write up what I’m thinking here one day, just feel like it’s a reasons blog, which will end up being a reasons and therapy thoughts blog and I’m not sure if it makes sense to do that.

                1. It would be easier to have 2 categories but I think I’ve decided I want another blog. Coz all the random thoughts I want to just put down and don’t feel like the right place is on here. Because it’s meant to be a blog on reasons to live. Not on what else is going through my head. I’m trying to think of a title. And I don’t even have the headspace to set one up lol so yeah right. Today’s been too much. Waiting for the day to be over.

    1. I love the sounds of the birds outside my window!!! I’ve been noticing recently how there are so many different sounds. One day I’ll learn to differentiate between them.

      1. I love to hear the Red Winged Blackbirds at the Park. It is marshy-like there and that is where Red-Winged Blackbirds like to live. They are really territorial and will chase other birds away, even their own kind, if they want to have that area to themselves. I even saw a Red-Winged Blackbird peck on a Canada Goose and its family as they came out of the water and came onto land through that bird’s territory. But they have beautiful calls and remind me of nice warm days – here is a good website for learning birdcalls Eliza – I don’t know all of them, just the common ones around here, mostly that Red-Winged Blackbird:

        1. I’d have to have the site playing whilst I’m in my room…. will bookmark it for one day. Once I’ve finished studying science – quantum mechanics, maybe some maths but not much of it, maybe some history, philosophy, writing, photography and the art of food.

          1. What do you teach Eliza – what grade? Your agenda of things to study sounds brutal … all the way to the writing, photography and the art of food. This past weekend I decided I was going to take my time and study the DSLR camera I bought last Summer so I could use it on manual. I take 99 percent of my pictures with a digital compact, which I love, but thought I’d get this camera … I had a terrible 2017 … had work done in the house and it was one catastrophe after another, lost my good friend/neighbor Marge and just decided to treat myself to a DSLR. Been using it on automatic and not happy with the pictures. So a fellow blogger told me about a guy called “Fro Knows” … he is good at tutorials and I remembered him from when I set up the camera and Googled to get a video tutorial (hate reading manuals – learn better by watching) … so I signed up for 11 free videos to learn how to use the camera manually. I watched them Saturday afternoon (before the plumbing debacle) … I was overwhelmed … too much info … I had intended to watch the videos Saturday and take the camera out and watch the videos at the same time. No, I am going to have to sit down and study the manual because it is not going to happen that way unfortunately. I took photography classes years ago for my 35mm camera for when I traveled but mostly used “automatic” as I traveled by myself in a tour group and they won’t wait while you fiddle with this knob or that and you miss all the sights. I admire you taking on all that learning … wish I had that initiative. My good friend is the same age as me (62) and two years ago she started grad school to get a job as a nursing home administrator. She had a degree in social work from around 1980 and never could find a job – same as me. I never found a job using my degree either, so we both became legal secretaries. She tells me what she has to learn and do for grad school – wow, don’t know if I could do it … no, I know I couldn’t do it now. Too many years after finishing school and putting school in the rear-view mirror. She just started an internship last week at a nursing home … 600 hours she must complete to fulfill that requirement and get her degree.

            1. Maybe do each tutorial separately? Gosh, studying there sounds brutal!
              What I’d love to study is an aside. What I’d love to study for a degree is education psychology, first a bachelors then a masters. I just don’t have the ability to at the moment so if or when god wants me to I’ll find that out….
              I teach 5 -7 year olds and a 17 year old.

              You don’t need to learn officially, you’re learning every single day!!!!
              Lotsa love and light…

              1. Aw, the 5-7 year olds are still in the “sweet stage” and the older student is someone you tutor? A fellow blogger I interact with (AJ) teaches around the same age group. She writes a daily blog about her day, which includes her students, exercises … (she lost a lot of weight a few years ago so began running with friends and does a series of exercises daily which sound brutal), her knitting (she loves to knit) and her reading that day. She writes about the kids and what she teaches them … sometimes her stories are funny. She is single and occasionally she’ll go out on a date and “report” to us how it went – she is happy being single and really involved with her family. I agree with you that you learn a little every day – I have learned much from blogging as there are different countries and customs. The UK is similar to Canada where I grew up, and the States, but there are still things I learn from UK bloggers and other bloggers around the world. It keeps us humming. (((hugs to you Eliza))) … hoping we have no issues with this extreme cold tonight … think I will be up early to ensure I keep washing clothes downstairs to keep the basement pipes warm. Here is one of AJ’s recent posts:

                1. I’ll check that out.
                  The 17 year old is the most gorgeous girl. She has special needs. I’ve been teaching her since she was 12. I’m sad as next year she’s probably going to a different country that has a school that would hopefully teach her more what she needs to know (more life skills etc).
                  You learn something from every person you meet :)
                  Lotsa love….

                  1. You might enjoy reading her school day stuff … comparing notes and such. AJ divides each day into her “hobbies” but school stuff always is the first part of the post. There is another blogger I follow/she follows me as well, and she works with special needs kids/adults (I think adults as well) … her blog is about cooking, but she is in Ohio, one state from me, so we often talk about the weather and she mentions her clients (as she refers to them) … she won’t be going out with them today as they’re suggesting you don’t go out if possible. I have a good friend who is her sister’s guardian after their mom died … Mary Beth is in her 50s and in a day program … she moved to New York with my friend after the mother passed away suddenly from a stroke. That’s too bad your girl will move – she will likely miss you just as much … hope you can remain in touch with her. Going out (albeit reluctantly) to run the car … they have cancelled our mail delivery due to the cold … right now: -6 degrees (-21C), real feel of -34 degrees (-36C). Take care – lotsa love back at ya!

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