One Hundred and Sixty Four: Safety in the moment

Reason 164….. safety.

I rarely feel safe. Mainly within myself, and if I don’t feel safe within myself, I don’t/can’t feel safe within the world, with people, or anything or anyone at all.

At the moment, feeling slightly safer. More grounded and present. And for the first time in a couple of months I can think of using cocodamol and see that at this moment I don’t have to use. At this moment I don’t necessarily want to either. Just feeling safer. Within myself. Therefore within the world. Music playing (I’m invincible by Cassadee Pope). Pen and paper to journal next to me. A book to read next to me. A colouring pad and colours next to me. I’m tired, drained, and grateful. That for this moment I’m feeling safe within myself. That for this moment I’m not wondering what I’m creating and what’s real. For it just is.

164 – the feeling of safety I have this moment. That I know I can feel safe. That I can believe that one day I will always feel safe within myself.

So long as there’s life, there’s hope.

Love, light and glitter

Eliza

Ps, I hate the wording of this post and feel like I haven’t managed to capture what I mean at all, but posting it anyways. I haven’t posted reasons in a while. Haven’t been able to think of any reasons. So I’m grateful that I can think of one. If you’d like to share your reason please email me at elizareasonstolive@gmail.com

15 thoughts on “One Hundred and Sixty Four: Safety in the moment

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  1. “Life is very simple: it merely consists in learning how to accept the impossible, how to do without the indispensable, how to endure the insupportable.” –Kathleen Norris

    In other words — your words: “Safety in the moment.” You’re already there….which, I dare say, is the biggest part of the battle in itself.

  2. I was sitting on my bed feeling so unsafe. That’s a feeling I feel 95 percent of the time.
    Trying to get through a mess of things in my head….and I saw I had this in my inbox.
    Thank you Eliza for putting this into words. I know and understand completely.
    One day I hope we will both see the end of this.

    1. (((((((((hugs)))))))))
      Ohavim otach!
      Love, light and glitter
      By the way, I’ve no clue if I’ve replied to your hangout message or not. I know I wanted to, but don’t remember if I did or not.
      Something someone said to me was to let myself shake and let whatever is be (yeah, right, I can’t), just passing that on.
      E

    1. Thanks!
      Calmer at the moment, and feeling safer than I have in the past couple of months (just not fighting using at the moment, and it seems like all I’ve wanted to do all the time) so super grateful. And feeling more tuned in to an infinity, to reality, just more aware, which I’m also grateful for.

  3. your wording is absolutely fine, easy to understand and important that you keep finding more reasons and keep posting … my prayers and thoughts are with you Eliza <3

        1. I like it that you do. I appreciate that you do. You’re just one of a couple of people who do and was wondering why you care to.
          Have a happy Tuesday!
          Love, light and glitter

            1. Thanks.
              Love, light and glitter. Happy oreo cookie day :) (I think those are the 2 cookies together with something in between).

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