Someone just sent me the following message
Place your mouse on the E below and drag to the U.
Even though you can’t see him, god is there for yoU
I’ve been freaking out today. Lots. Not that it’s new. The past few weeks have been tough and there’s nothing I can do to make it better. Every time I begin to journal it through I start by not breathing or freaking and then just tune out to some extent or another. I hate cutting off from reality. And I don’t have a choice in the matter. Once I’ve tuned out I can’t bring myself back to what is. I know that were I to stay with it I could get passed it, but I can’t stay with it for my mind isn’t letting me. I also know it’s okay. Been finding it tough too, because I’m just living with distracting myself. And like, is that what life is? Distraction? I know how much has changed. I know my world isn’t the same it was. I’m not messing up. My fingertips are whole – mostly. I’m connecting to god. Just yesterday I told a friend that god is with her. She replied, so too with you. I said ‘I know’. Her response was shock, surprise, disbelief and delight. I would never, ever have said that in days gone by. Yet now I do know. I have relationships with people. Healthy relationships. I’m sharing my life. I’m living with others, taking down the walls, and being there for them. Able to be. I’m able to ground myself. Be mindful. And yet. And yet. All that has changed. Somehow it doesn’t make today easier. Somehow I’m still buying cocodamol. Wondering when, if, I’ll go back to using. Somehow I still have messing up as an option – or rather a non option. So today has been tough. And I opened my laptop to see this message.
Even though you can’t see Him, GOD i s there for yoU
Thank you RL for being the messenger and sending it to me.
God is with me. Even though I can’t see him. Even though I have so much to work through. Even though not everyone believes in god, I believe in an infinite power that is in charge of the world. God is with me. Always. And you. God or whoever/whatever power or force you believe in is with you. Always.
So long as there’s life, there’s hope.