LTM: 18th July ’19

Dear Eliza

You are stronger than you could ever imagine. You are here. You could so easily have killed yourself. Yet you chose to give life a go. You chose life. Not death. You chose life for all the reasons you write. Primarily because death is final, life still gives you another option. And the belief. The belief in a little flicker of a light that was shadowed against the wall. You couldn’t see any light. You saw a reflection of a pinprick. You chose to believe in the light.

Today Eliza, today you see more than just a shadow on a wall caving in on you. Today you believe in the light. You don’t just believe. You know the light is there. You live with some of it. You don’t always, you do sometimes. You know the light is there. For you see it in the breeze. In the sunshine. In the connection.. In giving. In receiving. You see the light all around you.

You want to destroy yourself. I don’t think that (desire) has ever gone. You’ve always wanted to destroy yourself. You used to let that part of you run the show. You played with the edge constantly. You didn’t eat. You self harmed. You OD’d daily. Then, you began too let the light in. Let the other parts run the show. Fight it, and allow it. You wouldn’t be you if you never wanted to destroy yourself.

Today, today you want to destroy yourself, and you want to let the light in. For darkness only exists where there is no light. You want to live with the duality. Destruction and creation. I think you already know playing the edge can’t last. You did it for long enough. You chose life.

You chose life.

You get to still choose. Choose life.

I love you Eliza. I’m with you. I always am and always will be with you regardless of anything you do or don’t do.

You’re not alone.

I love you.

Always and forever.

Eliza

 

16 thoughts on “LTM: 18th July ’19

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  1. I love this letter of compassion you wrote to yourself. It is kind, gentle, caring, and respectful. In other words a true comfort to YOU! That’s what matters most. You are a lot stronger than you even realize and I for one am so happy you are here!!💗

    1. Thanks for reading and commenting Beckie
      Writing to myself does help me.
      Thanks!
      Love, light and glitter

  2. Hi, Eliza. I’m visiting your website for the first time today. Therefore, I don’t know your full history, but I’m so happy to see this letter you wrote to yourself last Thursday. It’s a very encouraging letter. I like the way you talked about light. Light means a lot to me on many different levels. I’ve learned from my sleep coach (yes, it got that bad!) that I need to expose my eyes (no sunglasses) to full-spectrum light for at least 30 minutes before 10 a.m. and for at least 30 minutes after 4 p.m. It sets your circadian rhythm. We need light in the literal sense and in the figurative sense.

    I’m glad you have chosen life. You have a creative gift. We would all be diminished if you didn’t get to use it and share it.

    1. Thanks for passing by and taking the time to comment.
      Exposing yourself to light – does this mean with your eyes open or could it be with your eyes closed?
      Thanks for caring.
      Love, light and glitter

    1. Thanks G. It’s the essence of what I wrote to someone I wished I could’ve written to (I wish I could have told you this before you killed yourself).
      Love, light and glitter :)
      Happy Wednesday!

  3. “Love, light and glitter.” Light? Oh, right, right…OK, I get it now.

    Good move Eliza, on continuing with the chapter. Now you can read the good part that’s coming up soon.

    Wait, you’ve already have done so and have started on the next chapter?

    Well done, Eliza. We’ll make a reader of you yet!

    1. Thanks M. I appreciate knowing that you read it.
      Hope you have a peaceful weekend.
      Love, light and glitter

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