I’m writing this letter coz’ Simon did this and I thought – still think – it’s cool.
The idea is to write a letter to yourself to look at in a years time. I did such a thing recently. At the end of the MBSR course I did then we wrote ourselves letters that they posted out to us a month later. I haven’t yet read it because I don’t feel like I need to hear myself telling myself to be mindful. I know what I wrote there. I told myself that I may not have gotten what I dreamed of – the awareness I thought I’d get of myself and my body – yet I’ve gotten way more than I’m giving myself credit for. I’m waiting for I’m not sure what to read it. I write to myself often. I’ve even written to the younger me. I’d never heard of writing to the future you. I like the idea because somehow I can be really caring, thoughtful, insightful, loving and validating to myself when I write to myself – both at the moment and I’m assuming if it’s future. Things I find really hard to do.
Now that I’ve introduced this letter to the 2020 me I’m sure I’ll have nothing of note or value to say ;).
It’s 20 plus minutes later and I’m finished with distracting myself :) I’d write this in my journal but if I do there’s zero possibility of coming across it in a years time. This way, anything’s possible..!
Hi Eliza of 2020
I wonder if it’s now 2020 or thereabouts. I wonder if you’re reading this or not. I wonder if you’ll ever read this. Hi E. Hello. It’s weird isn’t it, reading a letter that you wrote to your future self. It’s cool isn’t it. I like that you’re writing to yourself in a years time for it means that you actually envision yourself to be here in a year. You actually plan on being alive for 2020. Not that you know what god or destiny plan for you, but yeah.
It’s a year or so since you’ve written this. What’s the passed year been like for you? Looking back at the year you’ll probably see lotsa changes, and lotsa things that are still the same. I wonder where you’ll be in a years time. I wonder if you’ll still be living at home. I wonder if you’ll have studied further. I wonder if you’ll have changed your views on dating. I wonder whether you’ve worked through what you believe. I wonder if you’re teaching. I wonder what school you’re teaching in during the mornings now that Chani has left. Do you miss Chani? Of course you do! I know that. Do you think of her often? She’s gorgeous. She has a higher power looking after her. She’s doing well. She will do well always.
It’s strange to read this letter. I want you to realise how much is different. You’ve set your plan for the year out. You wrote about it in the post about responsibility and freedom. Eh, looks like it’s titled ‘Taking ownership of my life’. Yup, take ownership of your life. You are doing that. I’m guessing you’ve been doing that a lot more in the passed year than you ever have. Remember jokingly asked R’ R if he’d take over, with the grain of truth there? I’m glad you can take control. I’m glad you can take responsibility. I’m glad you want to. I wonder what it’ll be like for you.
As with everything, it’s a new year. A year has gone by. A year of hope. A year of dreams. A year of aspirations. A year of laughter. A year. A year has gone by. A year seems like such a long time. You’ll be 25 when you’re reading this. 25 seems so young. Yet so much older than 24. Age is meaningless. And I’m not sure what to write to you. What pearls of wisdom I should let flow from thy lips like water unto parchment. Nor am I sure what I’m making fun of either. Oh well. Laugh if you must. You are now. So by laughing you’ll be connecting to the you of a year ago who had no clue what to write to herself for a years time.
I love you E. If there’s one thing I hope you’ve learned during this year it’s that you’re not guilty. And you’re deserving. Both. I know that they’re flip sides of the same coin, separate yet so similar. If there’s another thing I hope you’ve learned it’s that whatever happens you really do have your greatest ally – yourself – at your side. Luv ya E. Always and forever. You’re worth it – again always and forever. You’re awesome. Never forget that! Oh, something else I hope has changed – that if someone tells you again that you always tell them how they feel and you’re right, you’ll appreciate it. Trust your intuition! Don’t feel guilty for it. Just be you. For you’re the most fantastic, amazing person I’ve ever met. Just because you’re you. As you always tell others, you don’t have to do anything to be worthy, you just ARE. Asides that you’re part of the infinite, so you must be infinity itself. Whatever happens E, whatever you’ve done this year, whatever you haven’t done, whatever you’re grateful for, whatever you hate, whatever you love, whatever you want to change, whatever you want to throw away, regardless of anything E, you’re always worth it, and you’ll always have your own best friend – yourself – with you. Luv ya. For real this time (I mean for real that I’m signing off). Oh, I hope that’s another thing that’s different now a year later. I hope that you really do love yourself. Feel safe with yourself. Believe in yourself. I hope that the life you’re living is a life beyond your wildest dreams. Loving life doesn’t mean it’ll be easy. It means it’ll be real, you’ll be present for it, and that you’re loving the ride – the ups, the downs, the plateaus, the cliff jumps, the rocks, the paragliding. You’re awesome E! Am I beginning to repeat myself and get boring already?
Always and forever,
Oops, wrong sign off line. How about all your mottos
Go as long as you can, and take another step
Your story isn’t over yet;
Faith is taking the first step even if you can’t see the full staircase
So long as there’s life, there’s hope (there, that’s the one),
You did it – you can do it (or the entire quote).
Eliza of 2019. Or Eliza. The Eliza that’s reading this today is signing off today. Maybe this should be titled letter from the future yourself to the future yourself????? Don’t laugh, I was serious about that when writing this.
I don’t know how to edit posts to make them awesome or readable or anything like that. Hey, this should be another reason another day – LTM’s (letters to myself)