Letter to myself: 27th January

Dear Eliza

I’m trying to think about what my message tonight should be to you, and, I can’t decide. So Eliza, I just want to let you know that I love you. That I think – that I know with 100% certainty, that you deserve it, that you are worth it. I believe in you Eliza. Yes, even when you intimidate people and they don’t accept your apology ;). I’m proud of you Eliza.

I know you’re confused. I know you’re frustrated too. I’m proud of you. You really are doing well, however hard it may be. It’s hard coz’ of good things. You are okay. It’s hard now but it won’t always be this tough. The light will shine through eventually. It always does.

I don’t know what to tell you about AH. I know that you’re scared of him sticking around. Give it a chance Eliza. Give him a chance. Try explain to him again how much you need him to acknowledge what you say (which he usually doesn’t). Ask him to give you the space you need (which he normally doesn’t do). And tell him how afraid you are. That he’ll leave. Or break it (your trust, if you trust him). Or you. Eliza, if you don’t try you’ll never know what could’ve been. I know the only feasible option is that he’ll eventually find it – you – too much and will leave. But Eliza, you never can know what will be unless you give it a chance. And Eliza, if he does leave, you are strong enough to deal with it. You are strong enough to handle anything life throws at you. Yup Eliza – anything. Anything at all. You can do it. You will do it. I believe in you and am so proud of you.

Luv ya gal,

Eliza

4 thoughts on “Letter to myself: 27th January

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  1. To be honest with self is almost the hardest thing to do, as it is to love ourselves before any else. You are beautiful and so is your journey. Honesty is the only accountability you have for yourself and it’s okay for it to different than others. You don’t need others to prove your worth or who you are, Eliza does that. I’m on this journey with you, the long way.

    Love always,
    Amber Choisella

  2. you are a beautiful soul
    never forget this
    you are not alone with all this
    we all are with you
    and believe me, I shared all this with my therapist
    he did not leave
    he followed
    I send him to hell
    but: well, he came back
    you are not tooo much
    how could you

    I love you for all you are

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