I’m frustrated, annoyed and resentful. I hate the world and everyone in it. Specifically those who messed up my plans. But even this has humour in it. I was going to go out. First to one place, followed by another trip. I chose not to go to A because it was important to me to get to B earlier. Due to a variety of factors (thoughtless people), those who went to A, which I wanted to do! actually will get to B before me. It’s annoying, and makes me hate this world, and resolve not to help those thoughtless people in future (a resolve I’ve made numerous times before, yet whenever it comes to it, helping is the right thing), yet it has humour in it.
I’m writing this reason now because I’m annoyed, and want to choose what to focus on. It might not stop me from wanting to destroy myself, but that’s not something that I expect to happen.
Everything in life has humour and entertainment in it. It’s just up to us, up to me, whether we – I – choose to look out for that, or at the darkness that surrounds it. Are you gonna look at the black sky at night, or the twinkling stars? At the heavy grety clouds, or the sun that somehow manages to shine its’ rays through it? At the annoyance at stupid questions, or the evidence that someone cares? At the frustration, or the humour?
There is always humour. In every situation. Even if it is just that the world seems to laugh whenever you want it to cry. The sky is grey when you are cam, the sun shining in the deep blue when you want to scream.