Lying in the grass. Lying in the grass is most definitely my reason to live for today. Just lying in the grass feeling the sun…. Continue reading “Lying in the grass #185”
Let Our Love Shine!
It’s Tamara! I find joy in life by taking the love that God gives to me, and letting it shine outward so that others can find comfort and hope.
us not numb
ourselves, to the point of
sacrificing our truest and most noble
feelings by attempting to Continue reading “Let Our Love Shine, Reason 184”
Not Alone, Reason 183
Hi, this is Tamara, and when I feel despair in life, it gives me hope in knowing that I do not go at it alone; in fact, I am never alone! This is reason to fight onward with my fellow brothers and sisters!
No exceptions are given to anyone from the terrible suffering in which we all experience in our fallen world. However, there is comfort in knowing that we are never alone in whatever pains befall us.
Illusions of isolation and aloneness during our misery tend to heighten our despair, and thicken the dreadful sludge of gloom in which we must drag ourselves during these bleak times.
This is Tamara!
Doses of shimmering colors and soft, pastel shades can be seen in greater richness and vibrancy when viewed through the healing touch of a child’s eyes. This is reason to find great joy and wonder in life!
If I could glimpse through a child’s eyes
at all the wondrous beauty that they see,
My eyes would drink in so much joy,
and these captivating feasts
would satisfy me!
I would see the sun glossing a sugar-pink rose,
and a turquoise river flowing wild and free;
There would be rainbows on every corner,
Continue reading “Child’s Eyes, Reason 182”
Hey, there! It’s Tamara, again, and I’m on a roll!
As far as Reason #181, I love the Lord’s warm, loving reflection upon my heart, as a major reason to find joy in being alive!
In this poem, I am feeling rather blue from the bitter cold, but the Lord comes through (which is really no surprise as long as we trust him).
Winter had come quite early for her,
though in reality, it was still early autumn;
she wore a coat, hat, and gloves, Continue reading “Reflection, Reason 181”
Hi! Tamara, here…
I enjoy watching Water Dancers.
I will explain, below:
Bright, silver triangles,
shimmering beneath the sun,
bobbing up and down,
amongst crystalline dwellings,
Life is a journey. A journey filled with ups and downs. This moment of the journey is an ‘up’. A time you are calm. You are at peace. You are okay. Things happen that you don’t like, and you are just okay. I love this time. I love the peace. The awesomeness. I love you Eliza. Continue reading “Letter to myself: 20th June 2019”
Hello, this is Tamara –
Big Dogs are cool, and fun! Having fun is a good enough reason, in my book, to live!
My dad’s 100-plus pound dog, a silky Black Labrador (with a coat so glossy, that it shines even when there is no light present), follows me around everywhere.
So, this means that when I sit down, he plops on the floor, right below me.
Thus, as it so happens, I arose from the chair to do some errands, and as I took one gigantic step over him (so as not to actually step right on top of him), he also rose up (there is humor in this), and so, all at once, I found myself riding on the back of this big, black horse!
Changing My Mind
Hello, this is Tamara!
Changing my mind often is a lovely reason to live because it makes life exciting!
Yes, I change my mind all too often,
but at least I even have a mind to change!
And, I am never boring to be around;
Hi :) I love you, you know.
This world is full of triggers. Being triggered means as much as you want it to mean. Being triggered is normal. Continue reading “Letter to myself: 19th June”
I’ve been thinking about reasons to live for the past few days.
I haven’t written on here in a while, for I haven’t been needing it in the same way. I don’t need the reasons in the same way. Friday was triggering. I was speaking to someone who told me that the reason she isn’t killing herself now is because she is religious and believes it is wrong. I know that’s the reason. We’ve discussed it before. Yet someone the thought was majorly triggering for me. For I was thinking about how I don’t believe it’s wrong. How I don’t know what I believe about religion. How I don’t even care if it IS wrong, that’s so not a reason not to end it….. Continue reading “I don’t want to hurt my family #177”
Life is about choices.
Sometimes it feels like the only option is suicide. Yet, that’s one choice. I was reading the letter I wrote – I wish I could have told you this before you killed yourself – and stopped to write this.
One of the main reasons I held on was because I knew that I didn’t know what could be. Because if I’d end it, that’s the only option – ending it. Whereas if I’d hold onto life, I would always still have the option of ending it. By continuing to live, I can still always choose to die. Whereas once I’ve ended it, I’ve taken all choice away.
I wanted to share this.
It’s about sharing the memories of those who died through suicide.
The good people. The great people. The awesome people. Who fought in a war, won loads of battles, and ultimately lost the war. Remembering them for who they were, not for what they did.
175. My family.
I love my family. The crazy, lovable, cool people who make up.my family. The ones who drive me up the wall and back down it again. I love my family. All of them. They’ve all their own issues and quirks. Some of them are more balanced then others. They all love. They all dream. They all hope. They’re all full of life and laughter.
After writing this post I feel like it’s a reason. Life has always been about holding on. I’m grateful. That it begins to feel different. It begins to feel as though maybe there’s something more to life and this world. Maybe life can be, will be, about where life is heading. It’s heading – somewhere. I’ve no clue where that somewhere is. But it feels like it’s heading somewhere. Like it can head somewhere.
The past couple of weeks is the first time in my life that I’m beginning to see that there could be a life. It was/has always been about the opposite. First it was suicidality with no awareness of it. Before that, I never really lived in the world. I used to wonder if I was living in a dream and would one day wake up. I used to wonder if I was really real or a figment of my imagination – I know, where’s ‘my’ imagination coming from, or someone’s imagination. After I chose to give life a go 2.5 years ago, it’s always been, just hang on, coz’ it’s worth it, for there has to be something more. What’s the something? Who knows. Just believe. Believe in those who have done it before. Believe in the impossibility. Life’s been all about hanging on.