Answers

The answers
I looked
Everywhere
For
The answer
I looked
Up
Down
Right and left
Sure
That if I just looked
A little harder
I’d find

The answer
I turned
To anything
I could think of
Looking for
The Answer
Romance – bdsm
Role playing
Joining communities
Webcamming
Looking for
The answer
Which wasn’t there

Self harming
Candles
Fire
Razors
Curlers
Looking for
An answer
That wasn’t
There
That wasn’t
Anywhere
Elusive
Painkillers
Cocodamol
10, 20, 30, 40 (a day)
Searching
For
Something
Something nonexistant
Food
Overeating
Throwing up
Calorie counting
Not eating at all
Who knew one could
Lose 5 sizes
In 3 months
Planning
My death
Destruction
Anything
Looking for
The answer
That was
Nowhere to
Be found
Nowhere
Nowhere
It wasn’t anywhere
That I was
Looking.
I looked up
I looked down
I looked right
I looked left
I looked high
I looked low
I looked
I really searched
I looked everywhere
But within
I looked everywhere
But the source
I looked everywhere
The answers
I looked
I couldn’t find
What I was looking for
I didn’t know
What I was looking for
For myself
For truth
For reality
For where the answers
Can be truly found
Within myself
Withing understanding the world
Within finding my place
The answers.
I don’t have
I don’t know
What all the answers are
I do know
What they aren’t
I know they aren’t
Anything I use
To drown out the voices
Asking me to listen
I know they can be found
In that voice
That I hear
Within
When I let it
Have a voice
I don’t know
What my life
Will look like
I don’t know
What shape or form
These answers
Will take
I do know
That there are
The answers
That all I ever asked
Can be answered
That I can
Understand
That I can find it
Safety within myself
And the world
Knowledge
Being
Love
Laughter
Life
Within.
Within the answer
To all answers.

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