LTM: 18th July ’19

Dear Eliza

You are stronger than you could ever imagine. You are here. You could so easily have killed yourself. Yet you chose to give life a go. You chose life. Not death. You chose life for all the reasons you write. Primarily because death is final, life still gives you another option. And the belief. The belief in a little flicker of a light that was shadowed against the wall. You couldn’t see any light. You saw a reflection of a pinprick. You chose to believe in the light. Continue reading “LTM: 18th July ’19”

Dialogue with myself (TW – SH) — Journey to life #186

I’m grateful. I’m grateful that I can journal through dialogue. I’m grateful that I learn what’s going on for myself. I’m grateful for how much putting it down calms me.

Dialogue journaling – #186

Why did you buy cocodamol?
I want it. (Stamps imaginary foot in head)
You’re allowed to want it
I’m not.
You’re allowed to want everything Eliza.
Literally everything.
I’m not
Eliza, you’re allowed to want everything.
I can’t.
What can’t you?
Be.
Okay. You can though.
Not.
Am I going to change your mind?
You can’t. It’s […]

via Dialogue with myself (Trigger warning – self harm) — Journey to life

 

 

LTM: 12th July ’19

Dear Eliza

It is shabbat soon. Nearly time for the meal (after which you won’t be online or writing). You’re overwhelmed. And you’re okay. You know you haven’t been journaling enough. I know you’re tired. Of trying so hard. And you’re okay. You’re really okay.

I love you Eliza. I love all of you. The good, the bad, the pretty, the ugly.

Darkness is the absence of light. Fill the world with light. Fill your world with light. You’re worth it, it’s worth it, and the world is worth it.

I love you and I’m with you. God is with you too. Every single step of the way.

When the going gets tough, just hold on. Hold on to hope. Remember why you’re doing this. Coz it’s awesome. Coz the world is filled with beauty. Coz you’re getting to chart a path, to chart your path, to create a life for yourself, a life beyond your wildest dreams.

It’s a journey. One I, god, and so many others are with you on. People can care about you Eliza. And people can stay.

Always and forever,

Eliza

LTM: 6th July ’19

Dear Eliza

I love that today is a good day. That this week has been a good week. You know, it’s all down to you. You held on. You didn’t give up. When you were freaking out, desperate to self harm, use, and destroy yourself and the good things, you held on. You didn’t act on it. You may have been freaking out, you were, yet you held on. Remember that for next time. Continue reading “LTM: 6th July ’19”

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