Fifty one: Stumbling block or stepping stone?

Everything that happens in life can either be a stumbling block that sends you tripping and ultimately down the darkest chasms, or a stepping stone, which you climb higher and higher. Everything. It doesn’t always seem so. There are some things in my life that I wonder about. Like the fact that I have a plan down to the hours that I can use to kill myself, including to the method at hand.

Continue reading “Fifty one: Stumbling block or stepping stone?”

Fifty – Kintsugi

I have so much to say about this and just don’t have the headspace to do it. I want to at least put something down.

Kintsugi is a Japanese art form. They take broken pieces of pottery and repair them with gold so that the cracks are the beauty.

I’d love it if anyone could elaborate.


Forty Nine: It’s part of a big picture

I’m sitting here, surprised, that I am here. This date has major significance to me. Beforehand I was dreading it, yet now that it’s here, it’s just a date. Just another day. That’s part of the big picture. This day, a year ago, was the end of 6 weeks after I promised to try (not to end it) for 6 weeks. Yesterday a year ago was when I promised to give life a go. It’s been a year. Continue reading “Forty Nine: It’s part of a big picture”


Four more reasons until the 50th.

It would help if I could actually think of any…. I want my 50th to be written in 9 days. Today it all is too much. Wherever I write I am stuck for words. There’s too much for me to be able to put it down.

So long,


Forty Three: The humour in everything

I’m frustrated, annoyed and resentful. I hate the world and everyone in it. Specifically those who messed up my plans. But even this has humour in it. I was going to go out. First to one place, followed by another trip. I chose not to go to A because it was important to me to get to B earlier. Due to a variety of factors (thoughtless people), those who went to A, which I wanted to do! Continue reading “Forty Three: The humour in everything”

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