I wish I could have told you this before you killed yourself

A 16 year old girl in my community committed suicide the other day. I wish I could have spoken to her. I’m not sure if I’d know what to tell her. I’m not sure that there’s anything to say.

Dear ____ . Scrap the dear.

Hi.

If you’re reading this I’m guessing you’re suicidal. Have thought, are thinking of, suicide as a viable option. I know that place. Where the only option is to end your life in order to end the pain. It isn’t about ending your life I know. It’s about stopping the world. Getting off from a world you didn’t ask to be part of. Maybe that’s just how I see it. The train moving way too fast on the tracks, the tracks ending at a cliff, the train is going to hurtle down the cliff and you’re going to be shattered to pieces at the bottom. Or you can just get off the train of life. Continue reading “I wish I could have told you this before you killed yourself”

One Hundred and Fifty Eight: Broken phones

Broken phones. One Hundred and Fifty Eight. I broke my phone the other day. I know, it seems like a strange enough reason – breaking a phone. But yet there it is. Or here it is. Whichever you may. I dropped my phone on the road and I’m pretty certain it was driven over by cars. A really nice guy on a bike rang my phone for me and delayed himself by a few minutes whilst waiting for me to find my phone. Continue reading “One Hundred and Fifty Eight: Broken phones”

Therapy – looking back or going forward – what do you think?

I met this therapist on Tuesday. It was ____ too many words to actually be able to choose just one.

She said that in therapy you have to look back at all that happened to you and revisit it all.

I completely disagree. I think that there are so many people who think that in order to go forwards you have to go back. That you have to revisit everything that happened. And I think they’re wrong.

If you ask me, life is about moving forwards. Not back. Living with the reality. Living in the present. Continue reading “Therapy – looking back or going forward – what do you think?”

One Hundred and Fifty Four: You can find love, yes, you (reblog)

Love, hope, dreams. Sometimes I wonder if we’re all dreaming and hoping for the impossible. Sometimes I feel like we’re casting the fishing lines into the sea, when the fish will bite the lines and tug so strongly that they’ll tug us over the cliff and land us on the rocks in the sea below. I often wonder ‘is it possible‘. Sometimes I believe. Sometimes I keep on believing in hope, in love, in laughter, in light. In living a life beyond your/my wildest imaginations. One hundred and fifty four. You can find love. With others. With yourself. With the world. Continue reading “One Hundred and Fifty Four: You can find love, yes, you (reblog)”

One hundred and Fifty One: Adventures in the wild, self discovery

I came across this article by Sara Debbie Gutfreund. I’m reblogging this for my 151st reason. Hey, I love that number! It’s symmetrical. I love nature. I sat videoing the ocean for hours and would have continued if the tide wasn’t drenching me. Though I don’t think I’d ever do what what Cheryl Strayed did, and adventure alone in the wild. Continue reading “One hundred and Fifty One: Adventures in the wild, self discovery”

Letter to myself: You aren’t guilty.

Eliza

I love you. I’m proud of you. Even as you get upset with your sister. I’m proud of you. I love you. Even as you hate that you’ve eaten too much. I love you even as you hate your body. I don’t know why you do. It’s kinda more recent. Maybe transference? I love you Eliza. Whatever you do or don’t do, I love you. And am proud of you. I wish I had a magic wand. Continue reading “Letter to myself: You aren’t guilty.”

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