Last time I wrote this it was completely for myself to clarify what I was thinking – put it into some semblance of separation. My language on here recently really needs an upgrade! Whoops, I actually wrote elsewhere that I was going to close my laptop. I’ve closed that browser instead (there’s a tab I need to exit that I’m not ready to shut, so closing the window means it’ll come up when I open it – same as if I open the laptop, but it’s not open at the moment). I love how distractable I am! Continue reading “Questions for this therapist 2”
Today’s been tough. Lots of thoughts swirling around. Sadness for this girl who never knows what life for bring. I wrote her a letter earlier I wish I could have told you this before you killed yourself. Jealousy that she isn’t here anymore. Continue reading “One Hundred and Sixty: A reason (linked)”
A 16 year old girl in my community committed suicide the other day. I wish I could have spoken to her. I’m not sure if I’d know what to tell her. I’m not sure that there’s anything to say.
Dear ____ . Scrap the dear.
If you’re reading this I’m guessing you’re suicidal. Have thought, are thinking of, suicide as a viable option. I know that place. Where the only option is to end your life in order to end the pain. It isn’t about ending your life I know. It’s about stopping the world. Getting off from a world you didn’t ask to be part of. Maybe that’s just how I see it. The train moving way too fast on the tracks, the tracks ending at a cliff, the train is going to hurtle down the cliff and you’re going to be shattered to pieces at the bottom. Or you can just get off the train of life. Continue reading “I wish I could have told you this before you killed yourself”
I’d love you to add your reasons, or to post here. To do so please email me firstname.lastname@example.org
Broken phones. One Hundred and Fifty Eight. I broke my phone the other day. I know, it seems like a strange enough reason – breaking a phone. But yet there it is. Or here it is. Whichever you may. I dropped my phone on the road and I’m pretty certain it was driven over by cars. A really nice guy on a bike rang my phone for me and delayed himself by a few minutes whilst waiting for me to find my phone. Continue reading “One Hundred and Fifty Eight: Broken phones”
I met this therapist on Tuesday. It was ____ too many words to actually be able to choose just one.
She said that in therapy you have to look back at all that happened to you and revisit it all.
I completely disagree. I think that there are so many people who think that in order to go forwards you have to go back. That you have to revisit everything that happened. And I think they’re wrong.
If you ask me, life is about moving forwards. Not back. Living with the reality. Living in the present. Continue reading “Therapy – looking back or going forward – what do you think?”
Reasons to live. A matter of mattering. You matter to someone, someday, somewhere.
Thank you mistermuse for sharing your reason here. Continue reading “One Hundred and Fifty Six: A matter of mattering”
Love, hope, dreams. Sometimes I wonder if we’re all dreaming and hoping for the impossible. Sometimes I feel like we’re casting the fishing lines into the sea, when the fish will bite the lines and tug so strongly that they’ll tug us over the cliff and land us on the rocks in the sea below. I often wonder ‘is it possible‘. Sometimes I believe. Sometimes I keep on believing in hope, in love, in laughter, in light. In living a life beyond your/my wildest imaginations. One hundred and fifty four. You can find love. With others. With yourself. With the world. Continue reading “One Hundred and Fifty Four: You can find love, yes, you (reblog)”
Someone just sent me the following message
Place your mouse on the E below and drag to the U.
Even though you can’t see him, god is there for yoU
I came across this article by Sara Debbie Gutfreund. I’m reblogging this for my 151st reason. Hey, I love that number! It’s symmetrical. I love nature. I sat videoing the ocean for hours and would have continued if the tide wasn’t drenching me. Though I don’t think I’d ever do what what Cheryl Strayed did, and adventure alone in the wild. Continue reading “One hundred and Fifty One: Adventures in the wild, self discovery”
I watched this video. It brought me to tears. Thank you Shane Koyczan for posting this.
One Hundred and Thirty Nine. Life itself. I’m grateful to be here. I’m grateful that I’m grateful to be here. Continue reading “One Hundred and Thirty Nine: I’m grateful to be alive”
Today is the last day I can date something as 2018. It’s the end of 2018 and nearly 2019. I was trying to think of a title for this reason. The end of a year. Living through a year. Reaching a new year. It’s all of it. Everything. It’s the end of another year. I find it weird to be here at the end of a year. The last day of 2018. The last day of a year. I find it hard to believe that an entire year has passed. Didn’t I just write my goals for 2018? Oh gosh, I just looked at that post to link it, and here’s what I wrote: Continue reading “One Hundred and Forty Eight: Moving forward”
Okay, so I’m kinda annoyed, and I guess this is a reply.
Why are you so afraid
Upon reading what I write
Why does the word suicide
Continue reading “Why are you so afraid?”
Last week at a mindfulness course we did the mountain meditation. I listened to it again this morning. It says to compare ourselves to a mountain. Life happens. Storms rage. Winds howl. The sun shines. Snow glitters. Continue reading “One Hundred and Forty Seven: Mountain mindfulness meditation”