Remembering those…

I wanted to share this.

It’s about sharing the memories of those who died through suicide.

The good people. The great people. The awesome people. Who fought in a war, won loads of battles, and ultimately lost the war. Remembering them for who they were, not for what they did.

Life’s heading – somewhere? #174

After writing this post I feel like it’s a reason. Life has always been about holding on. I’m grateful. That it begins to feel different. It begins to feel as though maybe there’s something more to life and this world. Maybe life can be, will be, about where life is heading. It’s heading – somewhere. I’ve no clue where that somewhere is. But it feels like it’s heading somewhere. Like it can head somewhere.

The past couple of weeks is the first time in my life that I’m beginning to see that there could be a life. It was/has always been about the opposite. First it was suicidality with no awareness of it. Before that, I never really lived in the world. I used to wonder if I was living in a dream and would one day wake up. I used to wonder if I was really real or a figment of my imagination – I know, where’s ‘my’ imagination coming from, or someone’s imagination. After I chose to give life a go 2.5 years ago, it’s always been, just hang on, coz’ it’s worth it, for there has to be something more. What’s the something? Who knows. Just believe. Believe in those who have done it before. Believe in the impossibility. Life’s been all about hanging on.

via Life’s heading – somewhere? — Journey to life

 

You’re worth it — Journey to life #173

You are worth it. Always and forever.

I hope this link will work. This seriously brought me to tears. It’s so hard to believe. To look past all that the world portray. The media. People. My own words enemy is myself. You are worth it. Nothing can ever change that. Nothing anyone says. Nothing anyone does. You are worth it just coz […]

via You’re worth it — Journey to life

Edit, I hear the above URL doesn’t work for everyone (I wonder why that is, the above definitely worked for some people) so including this one from Didi – thank you Didi!

Letter to myself 25th March ’19

I don’t know if I’m really going to try and write to myself or not. I guess it doesn’t harm to and I can always just discard the post if I can’t. Now that I actually wrote it I’m not sure what I think. I don’t really know what I wrote or if I want to know. I’m tired and have no way of going to sleep for it seems like it’s going to spiral the moment I let it, so I guess we’ll find out what will be.

Hi E

I don’t really know what to say to you. I don’t know how to reach you. I don’t know what to do to make it okay. Continue reading “Letter to myself 25th March ’19”

Reblog – letter to someone suicidal from a therapist #168

My friend sent me this letter that Stacey wrote. It really touched me.

It reminded me of the letter I wished I could have given to the girl, before she killed herself. I wish I could have told you this before you killed yourself What I wish I could tell anyone before they take the final act. Final because there is no other choice or option. Continue reading “Reblog – letter to someone suicidal from a therapist #168”

Random words

Constriction

Desperation

I just want to

Breathe

I just want to

Be

Suffocation

Desolation

I just want to

Give up

I just want to

Stop

Abruption

Damnation

I just want to

Refuse

I just want to

Use

Accustomisation

Actualisation

I wonder what’ll happen

If I just continue

I wonder what’ll happen

If I live

Letter to myself: 22nd February 2019

I haven’t actually written to myself in quite a while. I’ve been wanting to all week so I guess I’m going to try.

Eliza,

Hi E

I don’t really know what to say to you. I don’t know how to tune into your world and really reach you. And that makes me sad. For me. For you. For both of us. All the same. That the distance is so necessary coz’ otherwise it just hurts so much. Continue reading “Letter to myself: 22nd February 2019”

Questions for this therapist 2

Last time I wrote this it was completely for myself to clarify what I was thinking – put it into some semblance of separation. My language on here recently really needs an upgrade! Whoops, I actually wrote elsewhere that I was going to close my laptop. I’ve closed that browser instead (there’s a tab I need to exit that I’m not ready to shut, so closing the window means it’ll come up when I open it – same as if I open the laptop, but it’s not open at the moment). I love how distractable I am! Continue reading “Questions for this therapist 2”

I wish I could have told you this before you killed yourself

A 16 year old girl in my community committed suicide the other day. I wish I could have spoken to her. I’m not sure if I’d know what to tell her. I’m not sure that there’s anything to say.

Dear ____ . Scrap the dear.

Hi.

If you’re reading this I’m guessing you’re suicidal. Have thought, are thinking of, suicide as a viable option. I know that place. Where the only option is to end your life in order to end the pain. It isn’t about ending your life I know. It’s about stopping the world. Getting off from a world you didn’t ask to be part of. Maybe that’s just how I see it. The train moving way too fast on the tracks, the tracks ending at a cliff, the train is going to hurtle down the cliff and you’re going to be shattered to pieces at the bottom. Or you can just get off the train of life. Continue reading “I wish I could have told you this before you killed yourself”

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