This is my first post on this blog. I’m honored to have the opportunity to add my two cents here and it ties in nicely with my Reason to Live.
I struggle with several serious mental health issues and have come close to dying, either from overt suicide attempts or from other actions related to my issues (e.g., drug overdose), several times. I often feel quite alone when it comes to my struggles.
I’m not alone though. I have become very proactive in reaching out and making friends, both on social media and IRL, who have similar struggles and it helps tremendously to know that there are people I can speak with who understand what I’m dealing with. More recently, I’ve started ‘pushing’ my message to others, in the hope that they might come across that message and also feel a little less isolated.
I spoke at a Moth StorySLAM last week where I shared the thoughts I had and the actions I took that resulted in my most recent heroin relapse (almost 8 months ago). Today, I have a pre-interview to set up an actual interview, where I’ll be talking about stigma, as part of the Beirut in Portland project. I’ve written over 200,000 words in my journals and blog over the last three years that I would love to consolidate in some way.
I feel like I’m in a race. I am very far from being out of the woods and am at a point where I have to take things one day at a time. I like to think I’m realistic about my chances of achieving long-term recovery. A big reason to stay in the race is to share what I’ve been through in the hopes that others might find some hope themselves. I really like helping others and want to do as much as I can in that regards, with whatever time I have left.