Letter to myself: 13th August ’17

Eliza

It’s scary to be calm. It’s scary to be okay. Besides being foreign territory that you haven’t visited in a long time, I know you think it isn’t safe, and that you don’t deserve it. There’s only one thing I want to tell you. And that is that you deserve it. You are worth it. Of life. Of okayness. Of happiness. Of being calm. I know you don’t believe me. And that’s okay. I’m proud of you. For letting me/you tell yourself this. For being able to hear it. Fr talking to yourself. For taking the chance and believing in yourself. I’m proud of you for trying. Yes, I know that in so many areas you’re filing. And that too is okay. There are some things that you can’t do on your own. And, time takes time. There are things you may be ready to do that you never were ready to do. It isn’t a waste of time that you didn’t do it then and save all the time. For, you weren’t able to do it then. And when you can do it, you will. I love you Ellie. I know you don’t want to hear these words. I’m always with you. And always believe in you. You deserve it. Never let anyone convince you otherwise. You deserve to be okay. I’m proud of you for letting yourself be. Take care of yourself. And try, just try, to do the next right thing. You will get there. I promise. I’m with you. Always.

Eliza

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