I want to mess up the okayness

I want to destroy it. I want to self harm just to destroy it. Self harm rather than painkillers as it’s less destructive. It’s fun to be okay. I’m just tired of it. And so on edge and not sure what or why or how to handle any of it.

I feel like all I am doing is pushing off the inevitable.

Eliza

Scars. What’s your excuse?

What do you answer when people ask you what your scars are from?

I came across this list here, I was laughing through it.

  • Don’t worry about it. Because of me, they now have a warning label!
  • Well, let me just tell you this: You should NEVER EVER, under ANY circumstances, go out with a guy/girl that you met on the internet.
  • “It’s a long story.” They usually leave me alone, but this one guy said, “I’ve got time.” Then I said, “I fell. [long pause] Ok, so it’s obviously not THAT long.”
  • I took my lizards for a walk and they held on for dear life.

Continue reading “Scars. What’s your excuse?”

Shards

I wrote this elsewhere, and decided to take it and go with it, try make something positive of it.

As I said, I feel like I’ve fallen off the cliff edge and have no clue how to prepare myself for landing, or what even is at the bottom, way too far off for me to see. 
Continue reading “Shards”

Random, SH, 28th March

I was cooking and managed to cut my hand. Nothing major it just stings. And I should be washing up and plastering my hand, which I can’t be bothered for. It makes me wonder. What it’ll be like to do this intentionally. I haven’t gone there in so long. Cutting never worked. It did at one point and then at some point in time I realized that however much I’d cut it would never be enough. I’d sat there with a razor for half an hour. And it couldn’t be enough.

Continue reading “Random, SH, 28th March”

Proudly powered by WordPress | Theme: Baskerville 2 by Anders Noren.

Up ↑