Eighty Five: A universe to discover.

I’m an Aspie. This makes me part of the lucky ones: those who never ever get bored. How could one get bored when there are so many things to learn and master, to discover, create and invent, to enjoy, TO BE PASSIONATE ABOUT!

Enthusiasm comes from another ancient greek word meaning “possessed by a god”. It’s an eternal flame burning inside.

Just tring to invent hacks for daily situations can be so rewarding!

You’re never alone when the whole universe is inside you.


Eighty Four: Moments

My reason to live?  Moments.

Moments of serenity. 
Moments of peace and happiness, for no good reason. 
Moments of laughing so hard you can barely breathe. 
Moments of connecting. to people. to music. to yourself.
Moments of deep love.
Moments of understanding. 
Moments of accomplishment.
Moments of giving.
Moments that feel so good, especially because the moment preceding it was so painful.
Moments when life feels right.
Moments that are hard to come by, which is exactly why they feel so right.
They don’t come as often anymore, lately, for me. But they’re a nudge in the right direction, to keep on living :)

Eighty Three: Stray pets

One of my most powerful reasons are my four stray pets. And, if I could afford it, I’d have some more. I owe all the animals I met in my life the feeling of being loved, the way I am, unconditionally. My parents loved me very much, but
they had expectations about me. Sometimes I disappointed them because I couldn’t measure up to them, and sometimes they couldn’t understand that what they wanted for me was not what I wanted my life to be. Continue reading “Eighty Three: Stray pets”

Eighty Two: Waking up – okay

I woke up this morning. The sun was shining. A clear sky. The weather actually makes a difference to me. Ready to face the day. Spent the morning and most of the day, just, okay. And it’s fun to just be okay. I’m grateful for it.

What are you grateful for today?

So long,


Eighty: The Pause (TW – SH)

I guess this can count as a reason. I’m grateful for it either way :)

I wanted to curl my hair before. I’m going out tonight and thought I’d do it, rather than keep it up (at the moment I’m wearing my hair up, it’s a little bit of a mess). I don’t have a curler in my room. Well, I do, a new one that hasn’t been opened and that I never use in order to preserve it’s newness. I know, I know, it’s pointless to have it if I don’t use it. I always use my sisters curler and was gonna do so now. Except that I pulled out the plug and was about to bring it to my room in order to curl my hair. I guess to curl my hair. More to self harm. I plugged it back into her socket and am just gonna go out with my hair a bit of a mess. Continue reading “Eighty: The Pause (TW – SH)”

Seventy Six: Badges of Honour

Used to wear these scars as a reminder of the shame when my weakness shone through, of when I broke and succumbed to the voices of self hatred, of when despondency took over and the only escape was this.

For the few who saw these scars I could sense, feel, smell even their revulsion coming through which almost mirrored the loathing I had for myself. All I knew, all that I had acceded was that each scar hid the ugliness within myself. It almost acted as a protective barrier, preventing others from seeing me from the way which I viewed myself.

But now, these marks no longer bother me. People can look, stare, mutter amongst themselves. But I no longer feel shame, no longer feel obliged to look them in the eye and ask for forgiveness.
And the reason why? Because I wear each scar as a badge of honour, a sense of pride of having come through those dark nights. Each scar I see as a battle I fought with myself and won.