Ninety Seven: Stating what I want

I had a different ninety seventh reason originally – shoes. I just haven’t had the time to write it up. And a ninety eighth reason – some cool stuff I saw. This would probably be the ninety ninth. Wahoo!!!!! I’m really near ONE HUNDRED.

Anyways, for this reason. Stating what I want. Asking for what I want. Being clear about what I want. Asserting myself. Whatever the words that you use are.

I had an appointment with my GP today. I wanted him to check my hormonal levels because I think they may not be right. In the past, I’ve mentioned that my monthly cycle is different to the past. Well, today I told him I wanted him to check it, and actually told him why. Actually explained what is going on, how it’s different to how it used to be, and how I think it’s abnormal. He took a blood test then and there.

So today I asserted myself. I was able to actually say what I want, why I want it, and get it done. It’s not something I’ve ever been able to do. It isn’t something I realized I didn’t do. I actually realized I was doing this recently, but I didn’t realize that I’m doing it everywhere. I was able to explain respectfully – in writing – to AH what I was bothered by. Wrote him a letter. Emailed him. He didn’t understand it. Hasn’t understood it. I know though that it’s his issue (because every other person reading what I write, and I discussed it last night with someone, understood what I wanted and meant; what I want is actually nothing major at all.. I’m pretty unsure what he hasn’t gotten).

Actually, come to think of it, I did the same thing when I asked someone if they were available to discuss something with me. And when I texted someone that I’d love to be in touch with them (which I’m not, because I initiated contact, if they’re happy to be in touch, they will be).

It’s pretty awesome. To be able to say what I want and get it (when I’m aware that I’m allowed to want anything ;) )

So long, (as long as there’s life, there’s hope)

Eliza

Reblog: 50 reasons to live

Still unsure how to reblog.

I liked this post

The ones I liked best:

3. Another thing everyone says (and everyone says it because they’ve found it to be true, there’s very little chance you are the singular exception) is that they’ve been able to find beauty in their struggle. What began as a challenge because the impetus for finding their purpose. “Without Voldemort, Harry Potter is a very ordinary boy.”

6. Life is full of second chances. “Samuel Jackson struggled with alcoholism and drug addiction early on in his career. It was so detrimental to his ability to act and function, he was replaced in two different Broadway productions. He tried supporting himself by working as a camera stand-in for Bill Cosby on The Cosby Show and performing in random on-stage productions in New York, but he was never fully able to kick his addiction until he was 41. Literally the day after he left rehab, he started work on Spike Lee’s Jungle Fever. He was 46 when he was cast in Pulp Fiction.”

Continue reading “Reblog: 50 reasons to live”

Eighty Seven: Dialogue about suicide – 14th Sept ’16

I know I’m random posting some old stuff… but I like the stuff, so it’s getting here. Hope others do too.
Eliza, if I give you the option to die right now would you take it?
Yes. No hesitations
If I tell you that I have the way for you to kill yourself, that would definitely work, would you do it?
I think yes. Though somehow I’d have to think through ending it myself more than it ending

Continue reading “Eighty Seven: Dialogue about suicide – 14th Sept ’16”

Eighty Six: T.C.

I don’t know what I ever did to deserve having you in my life.

Thank you. For being here. For believing in me when I don’t. For adding sunshine to my life, and for never failing to make me smile.

You are someone super special. You know those quotes that say live today for one day you may inspire someone to continue living. That’s what you do. Luv ya T.

Love and light,

E