At one point in time, every morning I’d ask god/higher power for a sober day (and ask for other people to be okay or have what I wanted), and in the evening thank for a sober day. When I did this it made the struggle easier in a way. Continue reading “Asking god for a sober day”
Nothing changes if nothing changes.
I just woke up and am still in bed as I write this. So I’m not sure how coherent this will be… Continue reading “Nothing changes if nothing changes”
The world Continue reading “The World…..”
Guest post by Alicia
I suffer from Generalized Anxiety Disorder and get easily caught by desperation; my focus of attention becomes the problem and a kind of tunnel vision does not allow me to make good decisions. Continue reading “Changing the focus to get some control.”
I was cooking and managed to cut my hand. Nothing major it just stings. And I should be washing up and plastering my hand, which I can’t be bothered for. It makes me wonder. What it’ll be like to do this intentionally. I haven’t gone there in so long. Cutting never worked. It did at one point and then at some point in time I realized that however much I’d cut it would never be enough. I’d sat there with a razor for half an hour. And it couldn’t be enough.
When you are confronted by a maelstrom of thoughts bouncing around your mind. You just don’t know which way is up or which way is down, what is black, what is white.Just don’t know what to listen to and what thought(s) to ignore. Continue reading “Maelstrom”
I want to use.
It doesn’t help for me to know where it’ll lead. I’ve worked that through. If I use now I’ll still want to. And if I continue to, it’ll just be more, and more. So now I’ll take a couple of codeine’s. Which isn’t anything. Logically too. Later it’ll be more. Then tomorrow it’ll be more. And not only once a day. Continue reading “Using (TW)”
The world is so overwhelming and just registers on my radar as ‘too much’. Always. I know not everyone knows what those words mean. It means that something, everything, nothing, is too intense for me and I’m way overwhelmed. Like trying to shower, but instead of a shower, Continue reading “Too much”
They finally begin to overflow
Trickle slowly down
Forming a path Continue reading “Tears”
No answers here…. not at the moment. Maybe I’ll try answer this later.
I just so want to mess up. And I so can. I’ve enough to do so.
Why’m I getting up
Warning, may act as a trigger
December I fought the urge to harm. But January I caved in. But this time it was different. Before there was that sense of relief, sense of release, sense of escape. But now there was nothing. Just emptiness, apart from that question of why, why was I doing it? What was I hoping to achieve? Continue reading “Empty”
This has turned way more into a journal entry than a blog post. So not sure why I’m gonna post it….
Food. Continue reading “Food”
It seems like I joined this list – We are the world blogfest – which seems to be about spreading light, to share news stories about light. I’ve never done this before, and am sure that whatever I do will be wrong, as it’s anyways wrong, I may as well just get on with it :) and worst is, I make a mess of this post. Continue reading “Random acts of kindness – #WATWB”