Random, SH, 28th March

I was cooking and managed to cut my hand. Nothing major it just stings. And I should be washing up and plastering my hand, which I can’t be bothered for. It makes me wonder. What it’ll be like to do this intentionally. I haven’t gone there in so long. Cutting never worked. It did at one point and then at some point in time I realized that however much I’d cut it would never be enough. I’d sat there with a razor for half an hour. And it couldn’t be enough.

Continue reading “Random, SH, 28th March”

Using (TW)

I want to use.

It doesn’t help for me to know where it’ll lead. I’ve worked that through. If I use now I’ll still want to. And if I continue to, it’ll just be more, and more. So now I’ll take a couple of codeine’s. Which isn’t anything. Logically too. Later it’ll be more. Then tomorrow it’ll be more. And not only once a day. Continue reading “Using (TW)”

Too much

The world is so overwhelming and just registers on my radar as ‘too much’. Always. I know not everyone knows what those words mean. It means that something, everything, nothing, is too intense for me and I’m way overwhelmed. Like trying to shower, but instead of a shower, Continue reading “Too much”

Empty

Warning, may act as a trigger

December I fought the urge to harm. But January I caved in. But this time it was different. Before there was that sense of relief, sense of release, sense of escape. But now there was nothing. Just emptiness, apart from that question of why, why was I doing it? What was I hoping to achieve? Continue reading “Empty”

Proudly powered by WordPress | Theme: Baskerville 2 by Anders Noren.

Up ↑