Life feels like a drag. It’s not that it’s not good. It’s amazing. It’s better than amazing. It’s awesome. And, everything else. Seriously, it is. I’m seeing things that I’ve not seen before. I’m asking for what I want – well, sometimes I am – and actually getting it. I’m able to ask for what I want, in a way that makes sense. I even emailed someone recently ‘Hi, can I ask you for advice re xyz’, Continue reading “Is this as good as life gets???”
I was writing this as though addressing AH. I began responding to his email. Which turned into a ramble. Which I’d love thoughts on, but I doubt this post will be read by anyone. Continue reading “Rambling about/to AH”
Control. Letting go. Trust. Can I let go? Can I take control? Can I trust? It’s a paradox. Control vs trust. For most people will say that the opposite of control is letting go. I think trust is the opposite of control. For in order to really let go of control, you have to trust. I was just listening to a 12 step call, and was thinking about it whilst listening (yeah, distracting myself from listening ;) ). The topic was step 3. Letting go. Giving your will and life over to a power beyond you. Some of it I have no issue with. Some of it, well, I’m not so sure about…… Continue reading “Can I trust enough to give over control?”
Someone sent me the link to project proactive. https://www.instagram.com/project_proactive/ Continue reading “Project Proactive – MH Awareness May Challenge”
Still unsure how to reblog.
I liked this post
The ones I liked best:
3. Another thing everyone says (and everyone says it because they’ve found it to be true, there’s very little chance you are the singular exception) is that they’ve been able to find beauty in their struggle. What began as a challenge because the impetus for finding their purpose. “Without Voldemort, Harry Potter is a very ordinary boy.” Continue reading “Reblog: 50 reasons to live”
I want to destroy it. I want to self harm just to destroy it. Self harm rather than painkillers as it’s less destructive. It’s fun to be okay. I’m just tired of it. And so on edge and not sure what or why or how to handle any of it.
I feel like all I am doing is pushing off the inevitable.
This quote is really true. It kinda defines what I’m thinking at the moment.
I don’t know what I want. I can’t make anything ‘better’ as, I don’t know what’s going on or what I want….
What do you answer when people ask you what your scars are from?
I came across this list here, I was laughing through it.
- Don’t worry about it. Because of me, they now have a warning label!
- Well, let me just tell you this: You should NEVER EVER, under ANY circumstances, go out with a guy/girl that you met on the internet.
- “It’s a long story.” They usually leave me alone, but this one guy said, “I’ve got time.” Then I said, “I fell. [long pause] Ok, so it’s obviously not THAT long.”
- I took my lizards for a walk and they held on for dear life.
Have I ever said that I feel alone?
I’m doing okay. Really. There’s just no real stability there. At all. And I want there to be.
It can’t last. And that’s actually okay.
There isn’t anyone who, if I mess up, would be there to help me pick up the pieces.
Did I ever say that I feel alone? It’s not that I feel alone. It’s kinda the reality. Not just kind of. It is. I know it’s a good thing that I actually want it (people) but, doesn’t make a difference.
Need I say anymore? Waiting, wondering when this okayness will pass. Trying to stay in the present and enjoy it. All the while knowing that the other shoe is going to drop some time…
I’m going to try and put this down although I’ve no clue how to. As I’ve mentioned, I’m frustrated with you. It’s not that I think you’ve done anything wrong, I actually don’t, yet I’m frustrated. And not really sure how to explain it. I feel like you don’t hear anything I ever say. I know you’ve actually answered that before. With what I think is evident is not even latent. Doesn’t really help to know that. For it goes back to the fact that I feel like I’m talking a different language to most the universe.