He left.

I’m in tears here. And, it’s okay. I’m allowed to cry.

I’m rewriting all the letters I wrote to myself out in a separate journal. I have them all over, dotted through my journals (and considering that I use on average a new journal every 2 months, sometimes less, sometimes more), and in various places online. I want them all together. Continue reading “He left.”

AH

I’m in tears here. And I should journal. But this is something I want to write here.

I miss AH.

I’ve actually nothing else to say other than that. I miss AH. And there’s absolutely nothing I can do about it. I don’t know what the right thing even is. Continue reading “AH”

Is this as good as life gets???

Life feels like a drag. It’s not that it’s not good. It’s amazing. It’s better than amazing. It’s awesome. And, everything else. Seriously, it is. I’m seeing things that I’ve not seen before. I’m asking for what I want – well, sometimes I am – and actually getting it. I’m able to ask for what I want, in a way that makes sense. I even emailed someone recently ‘Hi, can I ask you for advice re xyz’, Continue reading “Is this as good as life gets???”

Can I trust enough to give over control?

Control. Letting go. Trust. Can I let go? Can I take control? Can I trust? It’s a paradox. Control vs trust. For most people will say that the opposite of control is letting go. I think trust is the opposite of control. For in order to really let go of control, you have to trust. I was just listening to a 12 step call, and was thinking about it whilst listening (yeah, distracting myself from listening ;) ). The topic was step 3. Letting go. Giving your will and life over to a power beyond you. Some of it I have no issue with. Some of it, well, I’m not so sure about…… Continue reading “Can I trust enough to give over control?”

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