You are worth it. It’s the end, nearing, of yet another really long day. I’m proud of you. You were on time to work, patient with the people around you, made and ate healthy food (been eating junk breakfast, lunch, dinner), journaled. After being up since 4am Continue reading “Letter to myself: 11th January ’18”
This is probably going to be short as it’s late, I’m exhausted, should head to bed, and I’m doing it on here (instead of journaling it in my journal and then copying it here). Well, maybe it’ll lead to the opposite
I’m supposedly meant to write a letter to you. The purpose of the letter is to tell you that I love you, Continue reading “LTM: 10th January ’18”
Decided that I want to write to myself every night for a week (let’s see if can even manage a week, but I like the idea).
I love you. It’s nearing the end of a day for you. Another day of living life. It’s an accomplishment Eliza. Continue reading “LTM: 9th January ’18”
I wrote this as wanting to self harm or use. I have so much I can use…. Both of which aren’t options. Had an appointment today with someone who didn’t have time. I wanted to ask for a referral to a nutritionist but I couldn’t as couldn’t explain myself when I just didn’t and don’t deserve it.
Continue reading “LTM: 8 Jan”
I decided to write to myself.
Just breathe. This, too, shall pass. It’s hard at the moment. Overwhelming. And, it’s okay, you’re okay. I know it may seem otherwise. Listen to the side that wants what is best. Listen to the side that cares. Continue reading “LTM: Random”
You wanted to write this, to see if it’ll help. Except that sitting here, pen in hand, you wonder how writing to yourself can help. Especially when you’re writing in 3rd person. So don’t. Hi Eliza. This is yourself speaking. Weird. Scrap that. I don’t know what I want to hear, so don’t know what to write. I don’t know what will help. I don’t know how to calm myself down.
Continue reading “LTM: Living in this world”
Just to wish you good luck for this evening, and tell you how proud I am of you.
I’m proud of you for going out even when you’re scared of it. When you know it’ll be hard, and you know you’re likely to put your foot into it big time.
Continue reading “LTM: Nervous about going out”
I’m not sure why I’m sharing this here. Was writing to myself now as have been freaking for hours and had to find a way to calm down. I should really get back to writing to myself more. It helps.
Continue reading “Letter to myself”
What do you want me to say to you? Only you can talk to yourself. Which I guess you’re doing right now. I know you’re stuck. I don’t know what to say. I see the 2 options so clearly. Use more. Don’t use more. Use more and you don’t know where it leads. Continue reading “Letter to myself: 8th September ’17”
It’s okay. I promise you, it’s okay. I know you’ve used too much. I know you want to use more. I know you began burning. I know you want to really burn. I know you consider yourself a coward for not going through with it. I know. Continue reading “Letter to myself: 4th September ’17”
I’m stuck for words. I don’t know what to tell you. I don’t know what you should do.
Continue reading “Letter to myself: 1st September ’17”
It’s scary to be calm. It’s scary to be okay. Besides being foreign territory that you haven’t visited in a long time, I know you think it isn’t safe, and that you don’t deserve it. There’s only one thing I want to tell you. And that is that you deserve it. You are worth it. Of life. Continue reading “Letter to myself: 13th August ’17”
I’ve no clue what to tell you, as I’ve no clue what you need to hear. I don’t know what’s going on for you now. I wish I could help. I know one thing. And that is that it’ll pass. And that is that it’ll get easier. And that is that you’re worth it. You can make it. I promise you. You can. Continue reading “Letter to myself: 4th August”
It’s so much easier to mess up. To test the boundaries (of safety with painkillers). I know how much you want to. How much you feel it’s a need. I don’t know what to tell you. I can’t promise you that it’s worth it not to, for I just don’t know. I can tell you though, that people have done this before you. That however much it seems impossible to leave the tunnel you’re trapped in, especially when you aren’t ready to get up, people have done it before you. You have more power and strength than you believe. I know that using is safer. I know that the painkillers cloud everything over in a sense. I know that you can’t face dealing with the world at the moment. Just know that you aren’t alone. That you have the ability to get past this. And that you deserve life. I know you don’t believe that. But you do. You deserve to live. You deserve to be okay. You’re worth it. Even as you’re messing up you’re worth it.
Continue reading “Letter to myself: 26th July ’17”