I’m scared to write this post. I’ve been putting off writing it. Since I don’t want to write it. Reason 100. One hundred reasons seems like an awful lot of reasons. I like the number ninety seven or one hundred and one better, yet One Hundred is more significant. I’ve known all along what this reason is about. Simply reaching one hundred reasons is a reason in and of itself. And writing that scares me. For I’ve come to one hundred reasons. Continue reading “Reason One Hundred”
I just saw this poem attributed to Dee Groberg. It’s exactly what I needed to hear at this moment in time.
Get up. And win that race. Life is one of tripping. Stumbling. Falling. We can choose, every single moment in time, whether to say in the mud, or whether to get up – and win that race. Winning isn’t about reaching a finish line. It’s about continuing on. For just another moment in time.
“Quit! Give up! You’re beaten!” they shout at me, and plead.
“There’s just too much against you now, this time you can’t succeed.” Continue reading “Ninety Nine: Get up and win that race”
I had a different ninety seventh reason originally – shoes. I just haven’t had the time to write it up. And a ninety eighth reason – some cool stuff I saw. This would probably be the ninety ninth. Wahoo!!!!! I’m really near ONE HUNDRED.
Anyways, for this reason. Stating what I want. Asking for what I want. Being clear about what I want. Asserting myself. Whatever the words that you use are.
I had an appointment with my GP today. I wanted him to check my hormonal levels because I think they may not be right. In the past, I’ve mentioned that my monthly cycle is different to the past. Well, today I told him I wanted him to check it, and actually told him why. Actually explained what is going on, how it’s different to how it used to be, and how I think it’s abnormal. He took a blood test then and there.
So today I asserted myself. I was able to actually say what I want, why I want it, and get it done. It’s not something I’ve ever been able to do. It isn’t something I realized I didn’t do. I actually realized I was doing this recently, but I didn’t realize that I’m doing it everywhere. I was able to explain respectfully – in writing – to AH what I was bothered by. Wrote him a letter. Emailed him. He didn’t understand it. Hasn’t understood it. I know though that it’s his issue (because every other person reading what I write, and I discussed it last night with someone, understood what I wanted and meant; what I want is actually nothing major at all.. I’m pretty unsure what he hasn’t gotten).
Actually, come to think of it, I did the same thing when I asked someone if they were available to discuss something with me. And when I texted someone that I’d love to be in touch with them (which I’m not, because I initiated contact, if they’re happy to be in touch, they will be).
It’s pretty awesome. To be able to say what I want and get it (when I’m aware that I’m allowed to want anything ;) )
So long, (as long as there’s life, there’s hope)
Anything can be turned into art. Ninety Six.
This quote has become my newest byline.
As long as there is life, there is hope.
Was just listening to this
I’m not sure why I feel like I’ve written something like this before, either way.
I was actually discussing this with someone, I was trying to tell her why it isn’t necessarily wrong to go backwards.
Sometimes you have to go backwards in order to go forwards. Like when you pull back the bow to give the arrow momentum to get even further. Continue reading “Eighty Nine: Going backwards to go forwards”
It looks like summer may be hitting the UK after all :).
The sun is shining, the sky blue, brings me to smile.
Yes. No hesitations
If I tell you that I have the way for you to kill yourself, that would definitely work, would you do it?
I wasn’t sure whether to post this as a reason, so I’m linking my previous reason here http://elizareasonstolive.com/sixty-two-change/
I’m scared of change. I hate change. I want what I know. Continue reading “Change”
I messed up last night. By using codeine. Nothing really (twas just 3), but whatever it is counts as using if it’s to use, and not as pain relief. Well, I guess using is pain relief ;) but yah.
I’m disappointed, as, if I hadn’t, Wednesday would have been 6 months.
I kinda feel like, I messed up, I may as well make the most of it.
But, today is a new day. Continue reading “Eighty One: Today is a new day”
I guess this can count as a reason. I’m grateful for it either way :)
I wanted to curl my hair before. I’m going out tonight and thought I’d do it, rather than keep it up (at the moment I’m wearing my hair up, it’s a little bit of a mess). I don’t have a curler in my room. Well, I do, a new one that hasn’t been opened and that I never use in order to preserve it’s newness. I know, I know, it’s pointless to have it if I don’t use it. I always use my sisters curler and was gonna do so now. Except that I pulled out the plug and was about to bring it to my room in order to curl my hair. I guess to curl my hair. More to self harm. I plugged it back into her socket and am just gonna go out with my hair a bit of a mess. Continue reading “Eighty: The Pause (TW – SH)”