Whenever I live with anything, I think it lasts forever. I think it will last forever. I think it’s eternal. Which, no, it isn’t. Nothing ever stays. Nothing extremely intense can ever last, it has to change.
I think the title says it all.
A child’s smile. A child’s laugh. The joy in a child’s eye.
The world plays music all the time. When I was thinking of what my next reason is. My thought was birds chirping.
I’m grateful for the people in my life who believe in me. I’m thinking of 2 people in particular, who although they’re not part of my ‘real’ life, but rather part of my ‘virtual’ life, they really believe in me. There are more people part of my virtual life who do, but it’s different, as those people, to me they’re just virtual, these people aren’t. And, they believe in me. I’m not sure why they do. When I tell them I’ve messed up, they tell me it’s okay. When I say I don’t think I’ll ever get there, they promise me I will. Continue reading “SEVEN: People who believe in me”
This has nothing to do with reasons so I’m not sure if I should be allowing this post to be written ;)
Today seems – ARGH. Eventually got to sleep last night, my head was in a messy place. This morning it’s as much of a mess. Oh well. Onto reason six. It doesn’t come to mind automatically….. It would be pretty awesome if I had a list of reasons in my head to just pick and choose from. Well, I don’t. That’s really why I want to do this…. To find those reasons. To focus on them. Instead of on the question that so often overtakes everything – Why live? Why….?
Feeling pretty negative at the moment, and kinda want to just hurt myself.
For reasons five. This reason isn’t going to be elaborated on much.
So as most of you who are reading this know, I want everyone to be able to create their own posts on here….. If you want to post on here, it seems so complicated, I mean, to post on someone else’s blog? Really, I just have to add you as an author. So, on the contact page you are given information for how to contact me. You can fill out the contact form telling me that you’d like to be added as an author. Or just send an email directly. You’ll need to send a username, email address and password that you would like to use. Once you’ve done that I can invite you to post, and hey presto, you’ll be an author on this blog! I’d love for you to come and write your own posts, however long or short you want them to be.
I once begun writing this and never finished it. This is the unfinished, combined version….
I’m walking through a tunnel, long and winding. I walk along, through the blackness and wonder when the tunnel ends. But, I know, ‘there’s a light at the end of the tunnel’. I can see the glimmer, and that directs me. ‘Due to a technical fault the light at the end of the tunnel has been switched off’. Now, I’m walking in complete darkness. Without the guidance of the light. But I know with certainty that there’s an end to this tunnel, so, I continue walking. When, CRASH.
So I’m grateful to be writing this. I need the distraction from my head at the moment. Focusing on why I want to be here is probably a good idea.
This is a continuation of the previous posts – show it’s possible and be the link in the chain. I want to find something I wrote and post it, it kind of defines what I mean. In short, by doing the impossible, by being the link in the chain, it’s creating a path for others to follow, that others can see how to do it.
I went on a walk recently.
I’m taking the same image from my previous reason for this post.
Okay, so in my previous post I just said that I want to prove it’s possible. What that means to me is more than just, prove it can be done, because, it means nothing in and of itself. It means too many things really.
Some of the time, okay, more like all of the time, I really want to give up
So for reason two. Which isn’t my reason number two. I’m not rating or posting them in order of which are my main reasons, but, which come to mind first. Going to try break these up into separate posts and not get them all mixed up into one. For they’re all so similar.
I want to prove to others that it’s possible. I want to show the world that they can do it. You know how you, or maybe it’s always me, think something is impossible, but really, nothing is impossible, and if we don’t try, we’ll never know….
I’ve always loved this quote
So for reason one. It feels like I should come up with some super amazing and fabulous reason that everyone will be like, oh wow, why didn’t I think of that before? But somehow, it isn’t so…… The first reason that came to mind when I thought of, why live. I’m especially using the words why live, not why not die, for that isn’t a reason to stay but a reason not to leave. I guess they’re all intertwined though, come to think of it. What am I saying again?
The beauty in the world around me
The raindrops on petals
So, introduction post, anyone??? This is to let all the many (I hope it won’t be zero!) readers know what this blog is about. Well, I don’t really know how to start, I want it to be interesting, and not have everyone rolling their eyes with boredom and stop reading before they start…. I guess I’ll start from the beginning. Ya know how they always say you should start at the beginning and all that….
It’s scary to be calm. It’s scary to be okay. Besides being foreign territory that you haven’t visited in a long time, I know you think it isn’t safe, and that you don’t deserve it. There’s only one thing I want to tell you. And that is that you deserve it. You are worth it. Of life. Continue reading “Letter to myself: 13th August ’17”