I’d love you to add your reasons, or to post here. To do so please email me firstname.lastname@example.org
I’m rescheduling/reblogging what I wrote because, it’s applicable today. I wish I had the words.
A 16 year old girl in my community committed suicide the other day. I wish I could have spoken to her. I’m not sure if I’d know what to tell her. I’m not sure that there’s anything to say.
Dear ____ . Scrap the dear.
If you’re reading this I’m guessing you’re suicidal. Have thought, are thinking of, suicide as a viable option. I know that place. Where the only option is to end your life in order to end the pain. It isn’t about ending your life I know. It’s about stopping the world. Getting off from a world you didn’t ask to be part of. Maybe that’s just how I see it. The train moving way too fast on the tracks, the tracks ending at a cliff, the train is going to hurtle down the cliff and you’re going to be shattered to pieces at the bottom. Or you can just get off the train of life. Continue reading “I wish I could have told you this before you killed yourself”
I started this site when I was suicidal and wanted to focus on the reasons to live rather than the reasons to die. I’d love this list to keep on growing and growing…. I can’t do it on my own. I want and need help writing reason posts.
Would you be happy to share your reason or reasons (as a post or more than one post) on my blog?
Speck of Hope –
Hello, from Tamara!
Today was an especially rough day for me, emotionally. My bad day began from something that happened to me yesterday, and the day before that, as well. This something opened up old wounds that I thought had thoroughly healed through my reasoning skills.
As an emotional person, sometimes reasoning skills go out the window when triggers seep in through my protection barrier.
Today was no better, but actually worse than even the two days I had just experienced. So then, everything suddenly began triggering me simply because I was already so miserable.
We struggle. We fall. We fail. We think giving up is the best option. I know I definitely do! Giving up is way way easier than continuing on. I was actually just responding to a comment here saying exactly that. That suicide is easier than continuing to live. Yet, giving up keeps us broken. Rather than whole. Another post I wrote on my JTL blog is that maybe the tough things are there to let us choose to access the strength and courage we never knew we possessed.
Lets them tap into their unknown strength, which if they didn’t need it, they would never have found it. Never have known just how courageous and strong and beautiful they are.
Maybe it is what the tough times are there for. Is giving up an option? I wanted to reblog this on my blog Journey through Life, then realised that it’s a perfect reason to live. Thank you Rinum for sharing and letting me reblog this.
Every time I’m at the verge of giving up, my mom slaps sense into me. Literally. Her hand is so heavy that she could send me back to Pakistan with the flick of her finger. But every time I say, “I can’t do this.” She makes that face where she clenches her jaw and her […]
Queen Saleena being brutally wounded and hurt fled from the battlefield and ran into the deadly forest. There she sat under a tree and tended to her wounds. She couldn’t believe what had happened. How could someone a strong as her, be subjected to such weakness. The Queen wanted to give up, so she decided to leave Halacin and settle down in the mountains of Alani.
But as soon as she rose to her feet to flee, she saw a little bird with a broken wing, sitting on a tree branch, with a lion cub lingering beneath it.[…]
The eleventh time the bird tried to escape she flew as high as she could, even though she squeaked because of the pain that her wing was causing her. But her flight didn’t last, and she was slowly descending to the ground. The cub saw the opportunity and leaped into the air to eat the bird. This time the bird didn’t run away, instead, she came down with force and slammed her beak into the cub’s eye with such intensity that the cub started bleeding. The cub became blind in one eye and ran away, disappearing into the forest.[…]
via Is giving up an option? — Rinum’s blog. Her entire post is awesome. Check it out on her blog.
So long as there’s life, there’s hope.
Love, light and glitter
It’s been a while. It’s been so long that I don’t know what to say to you. I love you. Cry if you want. I don’t know what is going on and that’s okay.
You wonder where reality lies. Why am I saying this? I wanted to talk some wisdom to you. For you were wondering what all the darkness you’re spouting on these pages tonight are about. If they’re real. I don’t know if it’s real. I don’t know what you think or feel. You class almost every moment as okay. Some good. Some tired. A couple meh or overwhelmed. Most okay, even when you are freaking out. So what is in your world? I just don’t know. I wish I did. For then I could give you the key.
I do know that we’ll find the key. And Eliza, when we find the key, we’ll find a beautiful garden. Filled with flowers and weeds. Tangled and tended to. A beautiful garden. Awesome in it’s wilderness. And together we’ll prune and let it continue to grow. We’ll find a garden Eliza. We’ll find a garden.
There is something there. You aren’t nothing. When you see reality, you’ll know reality is real, exists. It’s not emptiness. It’s not an illusion. It is there. It’s there. We’ll find the key Eliza. And we’ll unlock the door. And have fun playing. And learning. Learning the names of the plants and the purposes they serve. Looking at the beauty. Lying in the sun. It’ll be awesome exploring. Like Mary Lennox (The secret garden).
I’m looking forward to it Eliza. We’ll do it. Together.
I’m with you Eliza. Always. I will always stay with you. Even when you mess up. That doesn’t mean you should use cocodamol now (as you’re thinking). No, it won’t actually do anything to you. It probably will send you spiralling. Which isn’t really worth it.
I love you E.
People do care. Even if you haven’t met those people yet. Or can’t accept or believe it. You’re worth it.
I’m looking forward. Just breathe. Do or don’t type this up. Watch a movie or play a game. Put on music. Every moment is a new moment of life. Every moment you are planting and tending to the garden E. Even if you can’t see it at all. Ever if you can’t experience it.
I love you.
Always and forever.
Parking. People who know me know that parking is one of the biggest bugbears of my life. I know, my last reason was driving. One of my last reasons, since I’ve just found this in my draft folder. Sometimes I drive, and I’m looking for a parking space, and hey presto, there’s a space just there. Sitting and waiting. Just for me! I seriously feel that way. That the spaces are waiting for me. That they’re there because I need them. I like driving through better than parking. The other day I was reversing into a space (if I reverse into a space I don’t have to then reverse out. Reversing into a space feels safer for there is less risk of cars or people that I can’t see. I hate reversing. Well, parking, reversing, all of it which isn’t actual driving.) and, somehow, miraculously, I landed directly into the space! Like, perfectly! My car was even straight. It was in between the two lines. Was far back enough. And I was exactly IN THE SPACE. I say landed, since it had nothing to do with my parking skill. The other day, the day prior to this miracle parking, I drove through 2 spaces and parked on a slant. My friend who was with me commented on my ability to have such an easy space and yet always remain at a slant.
Parking. Sometimes I find it easier to park, other times harder, I’m always grateful for those random strangers who direct me and help me with parking, especially when I’m reversing. Who wait for me to finish with no fuss at all, no matter that they’re waiting…
Finding a parking space. Finding an easy parking space. The people who help me to get my car into the parking space. I’m grateful for them all.
So long as there’s life, there’s hope.
Love, light and glitter
I’m grateful to have access to my site. I’m grateful that it’s back up. Even though I’m not really using it much nowadays or doing with it what I would love to do with it (continue posting reasons).
#188 having my site back. I’m grateful to the awesome person who did this for me.
So long as there’s life, there’s hope
Love, light and glitter
You are stronger than you could ever imagine. You are here. You could so easily have killed yourself. Yet you chose to give life a go. You chose life. Not death. You chose life for all the reasons you write. Primarily because death is final, life still gives you another option. And the belief. The belief in a little flicker of a light that was shadowed against the wall. You couldn’t see any light. You saw a reflection of a pinprick. You chose to believe in the light. Continue reading “LTM: 18th July ’19”
I’m grateful. I’m grateful that I can journal through dialogue. I’m grateful that I learn what’s going on for myself. I’m grateful for how much putting it down calms me.
Dialogue journaling – #186
Why did you buy cocodamol?
I want it. (Stamps imaginary foot in head)
You’re allowed to want it
You’re allowed to want everything Eliza.
Eliza, you’re allowed to want everything.
What can’t you?
Okay. You can though.
Am I going to change your mind?
You can’t. It’s […]
It is shabbat soon. Nearly time for the meal (after which you won’t be online or writing). You’re overwhelmed. And you’re okay. You know you haven’t been journaling enough. I know you’re tired. Of trying so hard. And you’re okay. You’re really okay.
I love you Eliza. I love all of you. The good, the bad, the pretty, the ugly.
Darkness is the absence of light. Fill the world with light. Fill your world with light. You’re worth it, it’s worth it, and the world is worth it.
I love you and I’m with you. God is with you too. Every single step of the way.
When the going gets tough, just hold on. Hold on to hope. Remember why you’re doing this. Coz it’s awesome. Coz the world is filled with beauty. Coz you’re getting to chart a path, to chart your path, to create a life for yourself, a life beyond your wildest dreams.
It’s a journey. One I, god, and so many others are with you on. People can care about you Eliza. And people can stay.
Always and forever,
I love that today is a good day. That this week has been a good week. You know, it’s all down to you. You held on. You didn’t give up. When you were freaking out, desperate to self harm, use, and destroy yourself and the good things, you held on. You didn’t act on it. You may have been freaking out, you were, yet you held on. Remember that for next time. Continue reading “LTM: 6th July ’19”
Lying in the grass. Lying in the grass is most definitely my reason to live for today. Just lying in the grass feeling the sun…. Continue reading “Lying in the grass #185”
Let Our Love Shine!
It’s Tamara! I find joy in life by taking the love that God gives to me, and letting it shine outward so that others can find comfort and hope.
us not numb
ourselves, to the point of
sacrificing our truest and most noble
feelings by attempting to Continue reading “Let Our Love Shine, Reason 184”
Not Alone, Reason 183
Hi, this is Tamara, and when I feel despair in life, it gives me hope in knowing that I do not go at it alone; in fact, I am never alone! This is reason to fight onward with my fellow brothers and sisters!
No exceptions are given to anyone from the terrible suffering in which we all experience in our fallen world. However, there is comfort in knowing that we are never alone in whatever pains befall us.
Illusions of isolation and aloneness during our misery tend to heighten our despair, and thicken the dreadful sludge of gloom in which we must drag ourselves during these bleak times.