Asking god for a sober day

At one point in time, every morning I’d ask god/higher power for a sober day (and ask for other people to be okay or have what I wanted), and in the evening thank for a sober day. When I did this it made the struggle easier in a way. For when I struggled during the day, I think, I asked god for a sober day, I have to do my part. I don’t know what my god/hp really is at the moment. But to be honest it doesn’t make much difference. God can’t give me a sober day if I choose to mess up.

Asking for it in the morning reminds me that I want a day in which I live in the world without using. The reminder sets the day off on that tone, with the thoughts that = today I want to live in the world. It’s more about what I do want, rather than what I don’t want. I don’t want to use anything. Focusing on what I don’t want makes turns the emphasis there. And that is not the main thing. At all. For I don’t want to use. There are some things I do that are positive for me, and for another person would be using, messing up their lives. And vice versa. There are some things that I can’t do that most people can do. Which is why it’s not about the using itself. Rather it’s about being okay, living with reality. Can I or can’t I? Who knows. I can ask a higher power for help, do my part, and see what happens, when it happens. See what life brings.

So long

Eliza

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