One Hundred and Six: The ability to cry

One hundred and six.

Tears.

The ability to cry.

I never cry. I don’t know how to. Yet here I am sitting in tears wondering… well, wondering a hell of a lot of stuff and feeling worthless and inadequate. Yet, I should look at the positive. And I should be, and I guess I am, grateful. That I can cry. That I can sit here in tears. Even if and though I have no clue how to relate to this. How to handle the fact that I’m in tears, like, what am I meant to do. Pretend to believe it’ll pass? Pretend that what I’m caring about isn’t true, when it’s the reality? Yet I’m grateful. For the ability to cry. I so often want to and never could, to just be able to express in some way what’s going on for me, and, the ability to cry is definitely something to be grateful for.

One Hundred and Six.

So long as there’s life, there’s hope.

Elize

One Hundred and Five: People who join me on the journey

I’m exhausted, tired and resentful. Really, just feeling so damn alone. As though there is no one in the world. No one who cares. No one who would be here. No one who is here. I guess this is the perfect time to write this post. It hurts to be alone. It hurts to know that there really isn’t anyone for me to reach out to. It hurts that I don’t know how to reach out, that when I try to, somehow it seems like when anyone else does there are people there for them but when I do there is no one. Continue reading “One Hundred and Five: People who join me on the journey”