Is this as good as life gets???

Life feels like a drag. It’s not that it’s not good. It’s amazing. It’s better than amazing. It’s awesome. And, everything else. Seriously, it is. I’m seeing things that I’ve not seen before. I’m asking for what I want – well, sometimes I am – and actually getting it. I’m able to ask for what I want, in a way that makes sense. I even emailed someone recently ‘Hi, can I ask you for advice re xyz’, Continue reading “Is this as good as life gets???”

Can I trust enough to give over control?

Control. Letting go. Trust. Can I let go? Can I take control? Can I trust? It’s a paradox. Control vs trust. For most people will say that the opposite of control is letting go. I think trust is the opposite of control. For in order to really let go of control, you have to trust. I was just listening to a 12 step call, and was thinking about it whilst listening (yeah, distracting myself from listening ;) ). The topic was step 3. Letting go. Giving your will and life over to a power beyond you. Some of it I have no issue with. Some of it, well, I’m not so sure about…… Continue reading “Can I trust enough to give over control?”

Reblog: 50 reasons to live

Still unsure how to reblog.

I liked this post

The ones I liked best:

3. Another thing everyone says (and everyone says it because they’ve found it to be true, there’s very little chance you are the singular exception) is that they’ve been able to find beauty in their struggle. What began as a challenge because the impetus for finding their purpose. “Without Voldemort, Harry Potter is a very ordinary boy.”

6. Life is full of second chances. “Samuel Jackson struggled with alcoholism and drug addiction early on in his career. It was so detrimental to his ability to act and function, he was replaced in two different Broadway productions. He tried supporting himself by working as a camera stand-in for Bill Cosby on The Cosby Show and performing in random on-stage productions in New York, but he was never fully able to kick his addiction until he was 41. Literally the day after he left rehab, he started work on Spike Lee’s Jungle Fever. He was 46 when he was cast in Pulp Fiction.”

Continue reading “Reblog: 50 reasons to live”

I want to mess up the okayness

I want to destroy it. I want to self harm just to destroy it. Self harm rather than painkillers as it’s less destructive. It’s fun to be okay. I’m just tired of it. And so on edge and not sure what or why or how to handle any of it.

I feel like all I am doing is pushing off the inevitable.

Eliza

I don’t know what I want

Image result for I don't know what I want

This quote is really true. It kinda defines what I’m thinking at the moment.

I don’t know what I want. I can’t make anything ‘better’ as, I don’t know what’s going on or what I want….

Eliza

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